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A Tongue In The Cheek Look At Insurance Companies

A Tongue In The Cheek Look At Insurance Companies

A Tongue In The Cheek Look At Insurance Companies


Almost anything in life can be insured! I once read that as soon as price can be assigned to something, that "something" can be insured!

Most of us insure our motors against theft, damages, rain, fire and crashes. Our residences are covered against brake-ins, water damage, fire damage and structural damage. We take out cover on our own lives for whenever we aren't able to work any longer or to contribute towards our spouse and children when we're no longer there. In addition there are medical policies that can cover our medications bills, dentist bills as well as hospital visits. In the event that we are our own bosses and we have our own offices we could take out business insurance policies to cover us in the event that virtually anything goes wrong. We can also take out insurance coverage for our dogs and cats in the form of a pet medical aid!

Have you ever stopped to consider how much fun life would be if insurance companies were really capable to offer insurance coverage on EVERYTHING? I'd like to propose the following insurance policies:

The "I am getting fat policy" - We all acquire a couple of unwanted kilograms at some time or another. There is always an excuse to party, from anniversaries and weddings to birthdays, baptisms, housewarmings and the very popular "hey, it's Wednesday" celebrations! By leading such jolly lifestyles we regrettably tend to expand width wise sooner or later! Therefore I would really like to be able to put in a claim against my excess fat! This claim should be able to take care of the trolley load full of fresh fruit and vegetables I want for my new diet, the trendy new clothing once I am back to my perfect weight. and of course a handful of very expensive slimming and cellulite remedies at a weight-loss center!

Next, there would be the "I don't feel like going to work policy" - Let's be honest, everyone has times when we just seriously don't feel like getting up and sitting in traffic in order to go to the office. This policy needs to be rather comprehensive since it will not simply have to take care of the temporary staff member who will have the ability to do my work at short notice, but also the full body massage and mud bath which i will simply have to pamper myself with at an elegant day spa - this is off course part of the de-stressing strategy to get me back to work and is basically to my boss's advantage. Insurance companies, please take notice, this policy has to be taken out by employers, not staff!

Lastly, there could be the "I told you not to do that" policy - This insurance plan comes with a baseball bat and a coldpack. So when someone pulls in front of you on a motorway, talks on their cellular phones in the cinema or smoke a cigarette in a non-smoking section you can give him/her a big whack with the baseball bat, hand them the ice pack and phone your insurance company to deal with the rest of their medical fees.

Don't you think life would be so much more fun that way? But goodness, consider how high our monthly premiums would be...
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A Tongue In The Cheek Look At Insurance Companies