Single Parents and Divorce and How To Tell The Kids
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There is tons of advice available for the soon to be single parents and divorce and how to tell the kids. What it comes down to though is nobody knows your kids like you do, and you are the best person to determine what is the best way to tell children in divorce circumstances.
The age of your youngsters is the first consideration on just how much you can tell the kids as far as the details of the marriage breakdown. Their age also determines how they will respond and accept the news, as well as the effects of divorce on the children.
Never under estimate what a child knows concerning their parent's relationship. Children are astute at knowing something is wrong between Mom and Dad no matter what their age. Even if you have gone to great lengths to keep your disagreements and arguments in private, children pick up on body language as well as, lack of conversation. Simply put, children are great at recognizing love, which means they also recognize when it is no longer there. When the fire has gone out between two parents, you can be assured that the children have sensed it.
On the rare occasion however, when a pending divorce looms quickly then there is the shock factor that will affect the kids that you will have to deal with as well. For example, if your spouse has been cheating unknowingly to you, and all of sudden this becomes evident, then it can often end with either you leaving with the kids, or your spouse walking out the door. In this case there may not have been any forewarning for the kids that something was wrong. This makes your task of telling the kids that a divorce is pending much harder in some senses.
Pre-prepare:
It is most important that if you are going to help your children adjust to this big change in life that you must appear as stable. No matter what their age or what the circumstances have been there have been two adults present that most likely the kids felt they could count on is some ways. Now this is being reduced to one. If you do not appear as strong and stable then their world is being totally rocked and becomes most frightening for them.
You also need your time to adjust as well though in order to put yourself in the position of strength. If possible try to grab a few days grace to gather your thoughts and determine where things are going. The kids are going to have questions. You need to have the most honest answers as possible, even if it's a, I don't know right now. They will want to know when you will have the answer.
It is almost impossible to get all of the suggestions and hints that can help you through this most trying time in a short article. Hopefully though this will help you at least get prepared for your first job as a single parent.
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