Thoughts On Christian Parenting
Have you ever thought of how the youth related violence increased
? The juvenile courts and social workers have become more concerned on issues like narcotics, alcoholism, teenage pregnancies and even homicides committed by more youth who were obviously unguided. Will the future generations experience a hostile environment where nobody is safe anymore, not even in their own homes? What can Christian parents do for their children to grow up with the right set of values and a God-fearing conscience that will guide them through adulthood?
What Is Your Perception On Christian Parenting?
These pressing issues in the society must be addressed by the Christian community NOW! An immediate call to action by all the Christian parents can make a global impact and become the light at the end of a dark tunnel. There is a myth in Christian parenting that once you accompany your children to church on Sundays, they will grow up to be the adults that we envision them to be. After attending church, a little chit-chat and some other bonding activities like strolling the mall, playing catch in the backyard, visiting other family and friends or a walk in the park would do. However, responsible Christian parenting is so much more than this.
Attending Seminars On Christian Parenting
Christian Churches today, regardless of the denomination, only have 17-20% active members. So what about the remaining 80-83%? How can these few active volunteers help guide the Christian parents who are only regular Sunday goers? The answer is simple - Christian Parenting Seminars. Fortunately, there are plenty of seminars available for parents. A few hours of lending your ears to the experts who talk about the issues your pre-schooler, grade-schooler, pre-teen and adolescent child at home is all worth it. There are even churches that offer these seminars for free. Note-taking during seminars will be helpful since you can review what you have learned at home. Different experts will tackle sensitive issues like the following:
- how to explain questions about sexuality
- how do single mothers deal with their sons who are in their puberty
- how to deal with a pregnant teenager
- how to deal with a child who is addicted to drugs
Make God The Center Of Your Relationship
As mentioned earlier, the myth on Sunday Church and bonding activities account for only 20% of the weekly responsibilities on responsible Christian parenting. This weekend activity is insufficient in letting your child understand the value of making God the center of their life. Conveying the love of God as a parent is a challenge each parent should accept whole-heartedly. Simple daily activities such as praying before meals and praying together as a family have a more powerful impact than the weekend bonding. Asking for an apology for your failings as a parent will make your child understand the presence of Christ in you. Remember, a child learns what Christianity is by observing you. Aside from the Bible as a guide, your lifestyle as a Christian parent is a reflection of your relationship with your Creator. Expect your lifestyle to mirror in your children's lives too.
Set Rules And Responsibilities For Your Children
Be specific in setting the rules and responsibilities at home. For instance, "homework first before watching television" or "keeping the room neat". The latter is only a general rule while the first rule is very specific. Once you mention cleanliness in the room, it means that the closets and drawers of your child should also be clean too. If there is a bathroom in their rooms, give specific instructions on how you'd like the bathroom to be cleaned also. Be consistent with the rules; there should be rewards and consequences for the rules that are followed and the rules that have been broken. Be firm, or else, your children will get the idea that they can charm their way into Mommy or Daddy's heart and it's okay for the room to be messy when they are studying for the exams.
Training Your Children Their Responsibilities
The training in Christian parenting is very different with the training in the typical parenting. We excel in the spiritual training and so, we have higher expectations on our children too. Like the Muslim parents who lead their children to prayer 5 times daily, we should have family devotions with our children to instill the importance of reading God's word to them. Training children goes beyond giving verbal instructions, it should more be personal. Parents should be with them and help them while instructing them. Being a great trainer doesn't necessarily require being very skillful in every aspect your child is interested with.
Let's have this classic example: you want to train your child to be athletic because you grew up as a potato couch. It doesn't mean that you have to bean athlete first before you can convince your child to move about and be physically active. You just have to be with them. Tell them that you want to play basketball with them or that you'd like to ride a bike with them. Doing it regularly would set the mood for a physical activity to become a habit for both you and your child.
Discipline Your Child The Right Way
Just like what is stated in Ephesians 6, we should never "exasperate our children". When you are angry with your child, try to breathe deeply first and be calm before you reprimand them. Tough discipline like spanking and yelling will never work. In fact, it invokes hatred and it will build a wall that will separate you from your child. Then, they will begin disobeying you. However, if you have already yelled at them out of an uncontrolled rage over a mistake that they keep on repeating, you can always ask for forgiveness. There are different strategies now on how children can be disciplined without any anger involved.
Remember, responsible Christian parenting will not only influence your children, but your community as well. If more Christian parents act responsible on a daily basis, there will be lesser delinquents in the society and the future will be brighter for the next generation. Your children will also become positive influence in their peer group, as well. Just think of your child's friends who will follow the good example set by your child. Knowing that another soul will see the glory of Christ through your child is enough motivation for you to take Christian parenting more seriously. Your efforts will not be in vain because Christ rewards his faithful followers.
by: Samantha Gold
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