Learning to Read Your Energetic Child
Learning to Read Your Energetic Child
Parents of particularly energetic children have many things in common. First, we are usually rather tired by the end of the day and we do not keep many breakable items in the home. In addition, we often fear our energetic children will be misunderstood by others and feel the constant need to explain our children's energy to othersHowever, sometimes our children's excess energy or rambunctiousness comes from different variables within the home. There are three kinds of excess energy that children exhibit. They can display happy energy, frustrated energy, and angry energy. These types of energy could also be described as forms of "acting out." Children will take their home environment and reflect it in their state of mind and actions.Happy energy comes from a reliable, safe, and loving home environment. To be reliable means that there is a predictable schedule on a daily or weekly basis that the children are familiar with and trust. They do not have to guess what comes next in their lives and consequently feel more secure. Reliability also comes from parents who keep their promises and are home at dependable times. A child that knows that they can trust their parents keep their promises feels great security, which leads to vitality. A child in this kind of home environment is more capable of feeling loved because they witness on a daily basis reliability and security. Your child may be bouncing off the wall sometimes, but in this case, it is usually a happy, contagious energy for life that blossoms from their imagination as they feel free to express themselves in a secure environment.When happy energy is being expressed, the best thing to do is join in. Be a part of their imaginations as they pretend play. Your children will appreciate the effort and you will be reinforcing positive play. Being a part of their imaginations will also help you get to know your children better and deepen your parental relationship with them.Frustrated energy comes from a home environment that is less reliable and secure, and more importantly unfulfilled expectations. There may be love expressed in the home, but it is harder to feel because there is less security in the day and trust from the parents. Parents may not follow through with discipline, promises, or activities with their children. They may more often tell their children they are busy and not give their children a worthwhile occupation to do in the meantime. Without the children being actively engaged with the family, the child is left alone to entertain themselves. This causes children to "act out" in a frustrated energy often displayed by siblings fighting, whining, and running around the house with no particular focus. Frustrated energy can also lead to slightly more destructive behavior as children are trying to get their parents attention or just don't know what else to do.Parents can respond to frustrated energy by creating a predictable schedule for their children. Children will feel more secure if they know what comes next in their day and can rely upon it to happen. When parents are busy in the home and cannot tend their children immediately, it helps to first give children a worthwhile activity to occupy their energetic mind. Don't forget to end the day with some quality time. This can be done by creating a bedtime or evening time ritual in which you talk or read to them. A predictable schedule combined with proper attention will show them the security and love they need to morph their frustrated energy into happy energy.Angry energy comes from a home environment where the child feels little to no security, reliability, and very little love. Children with angry energy usually have developed a strong distrust for adults and authority figures from numerous experiences of being let down, feeling alone, or experiencing some form of mild to severe abuse. Don't mistake the sporadic tantrum or sibling fight for angry energy. Angry energy is displayed in aggressive, unpredictable behavior. Children with angry energy have trouble associating appropriately with others in the classroom, on the playground, and other social spaces. They are prone to destructive habits like destroying parts of the home, throwing unusually long and heated tantrums that include kicking, hitting, and biting, and generally walking around with scowls on their faces.Angry energy takes a lot of work to reverse, but every child is worth it. Parents can start by evaluating their disciplinary methods. Search out parenting books and material that will help improve disciplinary boundaries in a loving and logical manner. Once children know their boundaries and the consequences for crossing them, parents can move on to create structure and predictability in the day. This can be done by making a weekly calendar that children can understand and rely on. In turn, the parents need to be reliable themselves. Keep promises, still to a schedule, and build trust back from your child. Next, children with angry energy need quality time with their parents. Build the time into the schedule if needed, but don't let the week pass without letting the child know they are important enough to take time out for. These steps, applied over time, should yield a significant difference in the energy attitude of children.The exception to the steps above is where the source of angry energy is abuse, whether physical, sexual, or emotional. In this circumstance, professional help is most likely needed for your child and family. Parents who value their children and want positive change should be willing to do whatever it takes to improve the environment in their home, even if it means taking the child out of an abusive home environment and bringing them to a safe haven.Energetic children mirror the environment in their home in happy, frustrated, or angry energy. Read your child's energy and see what they are telling you about their lives and feelings, and ask yourself in what ways this is a reflection of your actions. Children generally are not forthcoming in how they feel and what is going on in their minds. They are still learning how to express themselves. Energetic children are an open book if you know how to read them.
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