Christian Parenting Advice Co-Dependency With Teen Drug Abuse - Part Two
In the first portion of this series I talked about the danger of living in a co-dependant relationship with your teenager who is using drugs
. In this part of the series I want to talk a little about what that relationship looks like and how it plays out in the family when you have a teenager who is using drugs.Some may not even know that they are in a co-dependant relationship with their teenagers who are using drugs. For instance I'm the leader in a recovery program. When we were starting the recovery program a man approached me to let me know how he responded to the use of drugs with his own teenager.
He told me that he would make his home a safe environment for his teenager and their friends to come and hang out and get it out of their system. Keep in mind this was a leader in the local church and was telling me this as we were promoting a Celebrate Recovery program.
As I stated in the first series, co-dependency is actually a learned behavior. You can actually pass it down from one generation to another, constantly teaching those that you raise how to function and live in a co-dependant relationship. This man was teaching his son how to not only live in a co-dependant relationship but how to raise his own kids in a co-dependant relationship.
The first thing you need to do is ask yourself...am I living in denial?
I cannot tell you how many parents live in denial when it comes to their teenagers drug use. Even when they know it is going on they will slip into co-dependant relationships with their teenagers and allow them to continue on the path of destruction.
We do this in all kinds of ways, but the truth is that we are living in denial.
We make an excuse for our child no matter what.
We blame others for their behavior.
We change teachers at school because they don't understand our child.
We blame Johnny down the street for my child/s actions.
We say it is only a joint or a drink but nothing serious.
Folks that is denial, you are living in denial to the fact that your child has a problem. If you are ever going to help your child you must first face and admit your denial. God says in Jeremiah 6:14 (TLB), "You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there!"
Hiding our feelings, living in denial, freezes our emotions and binds us. Understanding and feeling our feelings is where we find freedom. Second Peter 2:19 (GNB) tells us: "They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of destructive habits-for a man is a slave of anything that has conquered him."
There is a saying, "we are as sick as our secrets." We cannot help our teenagers who are abusing drugs grow until we are ready to step out of our denial into the truth. The Bible says, "They cried to the Lord in their troubles, and he rescued them! He led them from the darkness and shadow of death and snapped their chains" (Psalm 107:13-14, TLB).
We have the false belief that denial protects us from our pain. In reality, denial allows our pain to fester and grow and to turn into shame and guilt. Denial extends your hurt. It multiplies your problems. Truth, like surgery, may hurt for a while, but it cures. God promises us in Jeremiah 30:17 (TLB), "I will give you back your health again and heal your wounds."
Christian Parenting Advice Co-Dependency With Teen Drug Abuse - Part Two
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