8 Ways To Relate To Your Adolescent Child
Kids are pre-occupied and self-centered, for the most part
. Let's face it; we were all the same way when we were kids.Kids live in their own worlds, occupied with peers, activity, and fun. Learning, exploring, and experimenting are part of their lives.
When I was 13, I specifically remember telling myself I would always remember what it felt like to be a 13-year-old. Not many years later, I only remembered that I told myself that; I could no longer recall the feeling. I do remember, however, that happiness and "maturity" were part of the experience.
As parents, we mean well when we say, "When I was 13, my parents had me mowing the lawn every Saturday morning". Or, "When I was 13, I was babysitting to earn extra money". At age 13, kids used to have paper routes and household chores that far exceeded today's child's responsibilities.
We have to keep in mind a child can NEVER relate to a parent. Telling them of our experiences in ways of a story can be entertaining and informative to them, but it's "ancient history" to them and not part of their current world. Interest is our childhood adventures and responsibilities may cause our children to just roll their eyes and sigh.
Getting involved in an adolescent's activities is the only real way to relate to them in that particular activity and/or area of interest.
Here are 8 ways to keep abreast of his/her environment.
1. Observe the school classroom. Sit in on a class to see how a school day progresses. How does your child interact with others? How do they respond to the teacher?
2. Talk with teachers and other parents. Stay informed of what kids are talking about at home and in the classroom. What concerns them as a group?
3. Coach or watch their sports. Does your child participate in a friendly and supportive manner? Is your child competitive as an individual and does he or she play well with others? Educate yourself in the rules of the game.
4. Volunteer for field trips. This is a great way to talk with your child's peers when driving in a car full of young kids. Listen to their chatter and their music for information about their activities.
5. Supervise parties. A party can be an eye-opening experience because today's parties are far different from the parties we had as kids. Innocence is not the same as it once was.
6. Help with club projects. Science fairs, 4-H projects, fund-raisers - all excellent times to discuss the importance of commitment and productivity. Motivate your children to do the best they can to achieve his or her goal.
7. Talk about current events related to the young. Kids follow entertainers in the news, whether a rock star, sports figure, TV personality or someone else.
8. Monitor their music, movies, computer, and phone. Know what your child is interested in. It is not unusual to try to get away with watching or listening to something they know a parent will disapprove of.
Do the above things on a REGULAR basis. Communicating with your adolescent in a fair, firm, and friendly manner will be appreciated in their later years. Let them know you care about their activities and interests, but in a way that will help them develop good healthy patterns for the future.
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