Single Parenting A Problem?
Parents may be single because of death or divorce and also because they chose to be single right from the start
. Increased divorce rates have increased the numbers of single parent families. In addition, more men and women are choosing to have children without being married. While these families face challenges, the problems can be handled by loving single parents.
When divorce rates started to increase after World War II, more women were given full custody of the children. In the last 30 years or so, joint custody of the children has increased. That often means the children move back and forth between single parents. Some men are fighting for full custody and are sometimes successful. Even in a divorce that is handled well, children are likely to have feelings of abandonment and anger. Parents should avoid bitterness and fighting after the divorce or they will add to their children's anger problems. If one parent withdraws from the children, that definitely increases the children's feeling of being abandoned.
An increasing number of single-parent families are also created when a man or woman without a spouse decides to have a child. In these cases, women become pregnant or they adopt, and men find a surrogate to carry the child or they adopt. Their children will be loved but they may still cope with feelings of being different because they don't have both a mother and father.
Trying to support your children and finding a decent daycare or child care person is another challenge, as they can be quite expensive. It makes you wonder how you can work and have any money left after paying for a sitter. This is especially challenging if you were a stay at home parent. It might be wise to check into a trade school or online university to pick up a degree in a good paying career.
Single parents face some similar challenges regardless of the reason that they are parenting their children by themselves. First of all, they must earn a living (unless they are very wealthy, of course). Single parents who work have to find good child care at prices they can afford. When a child is sick, the single parent has to stay home unless there are grandparents or other support systems in place. This can create problems at work if the child is ill often enough. These days some people don't get paid unless they work, so this can mean a loss of income that is greatly needed by the family.
Make sure that school grades are still on track, and that you encourage your child to have friends and get involved in outside activities that interest them. You may have to play the role of both parents most or all of the time, but do it with an open heart, and open mind, and an open ear. Nothing is easy, but you will get through it and so will the children.
by: Mas Wawan
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