Oppositional Defiant Disorder - Help With Parenting So That You Can Start To Enjoy Life Again

Oppositional Defiant Disorder - Help With Parenting So That You Can Start To Enjoy Life Again

Given that oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) is often a co-morbid condition along with ADHD, together with perhaps anxiety and PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), it is sometimes very difficult to parent children who may have just one or several of the above conditions. It is very challenging.

In practical terms, you may have to deal with a violent and aggressive child who is also hyperactive and has an attention span of what seems like five seconds. We are dealing here with children who have an almost permanent negative attitude, are defiant and often angry at teachers and parents.

Any tips for parenting children with oppositional defiant disorder? All the parenting manuals talk about giving your child the option of making choices. Homework springs to mind. Here you can outline what the rewards are if he does it and the consequences if he does not. Rather than hounding him and telling him repeatedly to do it, just let him make the choice as he is now well aware of what the rewards, privileges and consequences are going to be. After all, you have talked about this with him. I must say though, that having a structure and routine in place whereby there is a set time and place for homework really does help.

A good idea is to hype up the good behavior and lavish as much praise and as many rewards as you can, without overindulging the child. Then you can minimize the disruptive and inappropriate behavior. This is not to say that you can brush it under the carpet but at least it need not be at the top of the list.

Rather than personalizing behavior, you should point out what was wrong with the action and what the consequences are. This helps to keep tension low and also enables you to show affection. After all, we are expressing disapproval of the actual wrongful behavior rather than the child himself.

Dealing with oppositional defiant disorder can very often result in shouting matches. At that level, nobody is listening! It is as simple as that and there is no communication anymore. You can avoid tense situations because you know by now what will cause a temper outburst.

When things calm down, try talking about how the child reacted and ask him of he knows why he did it. Ask him how he felt and tell him what you felt too when he exploded. Then ask him how he should react the next time. In this way, you can very often deflect flashpoints and maybe the next time it will go better.

These are just a few tips that you can learn from a good behavior therapy program which is perfect for dealing with oppositional defiant disorder

I know parents of ODD children who have been disappointed with family counselling because there has been too much emphasis on empathizing with the child and they lack an action plan. It is also very expensive!

Things are different with a behavior therapy program as you are given practical suggestions, an action plan, instructions on how to deal with every situation and above all guidelines on how to reduce arguments by about 90%. I know parents who have tried this program and feel that they are back in control again and they are enjoying a much happier family life now. It is also a lot cheaper than any counselling!

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