Dysfunctional Family Christmas: Let Go Of All Your Expectations
Are you dealing with a dysfunctional family Christmas
? Then, manage it by letting go of all your expectations. How did Jesus take this world? He accepted it as it was. He knew the right way, but he didn't force people to accept it. He let people choose to be who they were, rather than making them to be different. He gave people the dignity to make their own choices and be accountable for them. He took care of himself when he was with them by knowing the truth about who they were and by speaking his truth when necessary.
Expectations get us in trouble in dysfunctional families, because they set us up for disappointment. The disappointment leads to anger and resentment, which then upsets our emotional serenity. Some of us even continue to have the same expectation over and over again even though we are continually disappointed. (Some refer to this as "insanity.")
Everywhere we look during the holiday season, we see pictures of an ideal. The ideal consists of images of a happy family filled with warmth, love, happiness, unity, and togetherness. Dysfunctional families are dysfunctional for a reason and even if there is love and togetherness, there is something wrong or not functional and whatever it is shatters the image of the perfect holiday ideal.
What is the solution?
Let go of all your expectations.
Let people be who they are without being surprised or shocked or trying to change them.
Let your gifts be perfect no matter how lean or non-existent they are.
Let whoever is in your life be your family.
Let yourself have the permission to do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
Let yourself observe your family dynamic without trying to change it.
Let the way the holiday happens be good enough. If you drop all your expectations, IT WILL BE!
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by: Karla Downing
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