Do I Need To Go Through All The Pain After I Found Out My Wife's Illicit Affair?
"My wife is having an affair
"My wife is having an affair. I feel so upset that I can't believe it. I am furious and don't know what to do. I want to strangle the guy and break him. All I am feeling now is pain and hatred, is this usual reaction?"
This is one situation where there is no standard reaction. This is not a game or a contest that you win for managing it the right away. Your emotions are coming out and you cannot ignore it. The challenge for most men in this situation is that they cannot handle enough emotional aggression.
Finding out your partner has been unfaithful to you is not easy to handle. The hurt you feel is only the commencement of the emotional disturbance you are preparing to experience.
There are seven stages of grief that most of us go through at a time of loss. The loss that you feel when you find out that your wife is having an affair. This is the loss that you need to deal with even if you still choose to be with your wife.
Are you ready to go through the 7 Stages of Grief?
1)Denunciation - Most men rejects the idea of the possibility that their wife can have an illicit affair. They refuse to admit or even consider it. Some men would go through desperate denial for some time.
2)Ache - You feel hurt, betrayed and it seems that things will never be alright.
3)Fury - You're desperate and temperamental. You get annoyed easily. You hate everyone around you.
4)Negotiating - This stage is where you start to make assurance to yourself, your wife. You want things as they were.
5)Misery - this is the hard part. You need to let yourself grieve for a while. The shorter you deal with this the better. It's alright to feel depress as long as don't go beyond it as this leads to a serious mental condition.
6)Shame - You will basically encounter this stage where you feel guilty with what happened. You think that you've done something that triggers your partner to be unfaithful to you.
7)Recognition - this is the last stage where you learn to move on and let go. You learn to accept the truth and you forgive your wife from having an affair.
You may experience these stages in different order. These stages could last in a day, weeks, months or even worst, years. These steps are present as you go through the process of healing.