Adoption, 10 terms you should know if you're thinking of giving up your baby for adoption

Adoption, 10 terms you should know if you're thinking of giving up your baby for adoption

Any parent thinking of giving up a baby for adoption should be aware of some very important terminology so your adoption plan can set your mind at ease and you have some idea of what can and cannot be done. Here are 10 adoption terms and their definitions to help you in giving up a baby for adoption.

Adoption. Adoption is the legal process by which a parent is allowed to give up their baby or child. It is a legal mechanism to allow the child to be legally raised by a different parent or set of parents. Adoption can often turn a bad situation into a blessing by bringing about an incredible gift of love along with reverence for life to the adopting parent.

Abandonment. This is a desperate last choice in giving up your child for adoption. Perhaps you thought you could raise the child, perhaps you are in an abusive situation and want to protect your child, and this might be a choice of last resort. However, be careful. Most states have what is called a "Safe Haven Law" which allows you to abandon a baby or child up to a certain age at a hospital or police station without breaking the law. The state will then make all decisions concerning your baby's adoption. Make sure you follow the law and protect your infant or child as best you can, while protecting yourself from possible criminal charges.

Abortion. While some people may lead you to believe it is easier to have an abortion than it is to give up your baby for adoption. It is not. An abortion is an operation to end a pregnancy and remove the fetus from the womb. An abortion can leave behind crippling psychological and emotional damage. Most women who have elected an abortion carry the scars of emptiness, horrific guilt, and flashes of pain.

Open adoption. In this type of adoption, you know the names, location and information about the people to whom you will be giving up your baby for adoption. They will also know your name and information. During your adoption process you will decide what kind of contact you want the family to have with you and what kind of contact you want to have with the family and your child.

Closed adoption. In this type of adoption all the personal information except for some medical information and the names and information about the adoptive parents are kept secret and sealed by the court.

Adoption agency. While it is possible to give up your baby without involving an adoption agency, in today's world with the challenges every child has and to ensure your legally protected rights, it will give you more peace of mind that your baby will be well cared for if you involve a licensed reputable adoption agency. An adoption agency will help you understand the legal concerns with adoption, screen the adopting parent, help you with counseling and advice, follow up on your baby to make sure she is well cared for, and be there for you every step of the way.

Adoption costs. In most instances, the parent giving up a baby for adoption pays nothing. If the parent works through an adoption agency or with a private adoption, the adopting parents will be paying all the costs, which could include legal fees, your counseling, your medical bills, potential living expenses while you are waiting to have your baby, etc. Adoption costs and fees are governed by law and you cannot be paid for your baby.

Relinquishment. The Relinquishment of Parental Rights is the legal document that you sign after the baby's birth. This document makes the adoption possible and in most states this relinquishment document is "irrevocable". This means that the document is legally binding and you can never change your mind, once it is signed. If you are giving up a baby for adoption, you must wait from 24 hours up to three days after the baby is born before you can sign the document. This wait time is designed protect you and so that you are fully awake, alert and able to make the final decision carefully.

Birth father. Do you have to involve the birth father (the sperm donor) in the adoption process? It would be very helpful to have the birth father involved, as it is good to know his medical background for the child and have him sign off on the adoption. However, if you don't know who the father is or don't want him involved, his rights can be terminated through the court, or he can voluntarily relinquish his rights. Some states require the father to register his paternity or he automatically loses all rights once you sign the relinquishment document.

Placement. There are many aspects of the placement phase during your adoption process. Even though you have planned, signed some legal documents and made the decision that giving up your baby for adoption is the best choice for your baby; it can still be a difficult time. You may have had the opportunity to choose the adopting parents, perhaps you have met them, and you may still struggle with feelings of sadness. If you have chosen an adoption agency, you will receive extra counseling and helps to ensure you can cope.

We hope this adoption advice will help you make your decision to place your child for adoption. Whether you are considering aninternational adoption agency or a domestic adoption, study all the alternatives first.

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