Women, Power, Abusive Relationships, Manipulation And Control
When you feel empowered, you are centered, think clearly and make wise decisions
. You are connected to your core strength and face the world with confidence.
But some will try to knock you off-center, so that you are no longer able to tap into your core. If they are successful, you will feel panicked, unable to think clearly, or misplaced guilt. It will be difficult to assert yourself and you may find yourself engaging in unwarranted second-guessing or self-blame.
When this happens, step back, look to the person or situation evoking these reactions and ask why does he want me to feel so weak?
Chances are, that person WANTS you to feel that way. They want to disable your ability to think rationally and act effectively.
If they are able to knock you off-center, they can get something from you that you would not agree to if you were able to function normally.
Consider your inability to function properly as a warning that you are being manipulated into an action that works against your self-interest or even your safety. You are on the wrong end of a power play.
Ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way?" "Is it because he WANTS me to feel off-balanced?" and "what does he/they have to gain?"
Power plays and manipulative tactics are common strategies employed by abusers is to isolate the woman from people who support her and then undermine her confidence so she is no longer able to think and act effectively. At that point she is no longer in control of her life.
Using manipulation and other psychological tactics to control another is not limited to perpetrators of domestic violence. A fast talking mortgage broker who makes you feel beholden to sign on the dotted line before you can properly analyze the deal is also engaging in a power play.
But a young woman on a date who is clearly feeling uncomfortable but unable to assert her desire to leave may be on the receiving end of a power play.
The first step in protecting yourself from this kind of treatment is to recognize the manipulation for what it is. Once you know your opponent is trying to overpower you psychologically you begin to free yourself from his control.
Reaching out to trusted friends, family, and advisors with whom you can describe your situation frankly will help you regain a healthy perspective and reassert your own autonomy.
by: Liza Cooper
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