The Best Underground Club In Melbourne - Roxanne Parlour - Review
The only reason Roxanne Parlour ever made its way into my night life radar was with
a push and a shove of the Dread Locked Dud I was wasting my time with way back when. Fortunately, the bar itself was anything but a waste of time. All retarded relationships are worth something, right? Or perhaps I'm one of the lucky few? My tainted pick up past led me to Roxanne Parlour, where the lights are low and the skanks are merry. But there's a little something about this venue that made me wanting more, and it wasn't Mr. Bad.
In skiting my "girl power" glee, it isn't all fist pumps and white platforms a la Spice Girls. It did indeed take a little hard work and a spoonful of Sambuca to find myself a Roxanne fan. The venue is one of the most well hidden in Melbourne, and regardless of your intoxication (or the ability of your dim witted taxi driver) the venue will take a first timer anywhere between forty five minutes to an hour to locate. Of course, it doesn't help when one bottle of champagne down you're pronouncing Coverlid Place as Clover Place to your taxi driver. "Clover! Like leprechauns!"
Upon lining up and gaining entry to the venue, the foyer of what seems to be a rundown warehouse displays a lift. If you're one of the many mini skirted girls, which occupy this venue, following the leader shouldn't prove too difficult. A few floors up and welcome to Roxanne's Parlour.
The architecture is suffocating, which isn't necessarily a downfall. Dim lighting means it's all for one and one for all in a drunken stumble of hip grinding (no embarrassment guaranteed).
The dance floor is relatively open and spacious considering the remaining size of the venue. The ratio of dance floor to sitting area is illustrative of the regular
Roxanne Parlour ravers. Demographic displays the young and energetic but with a touch of something more sinister. It's no wonder the smoker's room and dance floor are forever occupied. The roofless smoker's room is cosy, and if you're the drag along biddy for the chugga chimney ride, I issue caution. The age old 'packed sardines' analogy won't even cut it. Two words; Packed Sardines. The smoked variety.
Drink prices are surprisingly below the standard Melbourne price. Combine this with fast bang-down service and the positives of punch definitely out way the smoker salmon to your left.
Roxanne's Parlour provides an
underground club experience with a whole lot less hipster and a whole lot more skanky. If you're looking for distinctiveness and don't mind compromising on class, then Roxanne's Parlour is the one for you. Oh and if you're looking for a bad boy, and don't mind compromising on class, then I can also recommend Dread Locked Dud too.
by: Sophie Lane
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