Why Have Counselling When You Can Just Talk It Over With A Friend Or Family Member?

Are you pondering professional counselling or thinking of telling a friend about a deep problem

? Counselling services, psychotherapy or hypnotherapy can assist you. So can friends, but there is a definite limit!

Is there a problem that is preventing you from living life to the full? Perhaps a particular issue is robbing you of your happiness and needs to be resolved so you can step into life with both feet, good mental and emotional health and a joyful heart.

Almost all of us will face a difficult issue in our lifetime. Whether it's an emotional issue, a problem with anxiety or a destructive relationship pattern, many people attempt to ignore the problem and others will take the courageous step of entering into counselling or psychotherapy so they can uncover the issues, resolve them and improve their life. Counselling and hypnotherapy can help you to deal with the issue and treat the underlying problem that is holding you back.

Apart from death and paying taxes, the only certainty in life is change. How many of us have had trouble moving house from let's say, Sydney to Melbourne, or struggled to settle into a new job, or after many weeks and months following the loss of a relative, friend or pet, are still caught up in grief and sadness? Have you ever been offered the well intentioned, but ultimately unhelpful advice from friends: "Snap out of it" , "You'll get over it", "Sounds tough" "Be grateful for what you do have".

While some might find these responses helpful, others will find they demonstrate a defensive lack of understanding, interest or care on their friend's part.

This only adds to the tension and stress created by their existing life difficulties, and could bring friendships to a breaking point.

The above illustrates an important distinction between counseling and friendships. Friendships (ideally) involve give and take on both sides. In a counseling relationship, the counsellor or hypnotherapist is there to help you but does not expect you to offer help or guidance in return.

This makes counselling, mindfulness therapy and psychotherapy different to other life relationships. Of course, there's a monetary and time commitment, but successful counselling is emotionally unconditional.

A good counsellor or therapist offers you a secure and consistent relationship and is non-judgemental, empathetic and available to you. It is up to them to manage the relationship and encounter, allowing you to explore your underlying issues. Within that secure relationship you are able to be who you are without fear of judgement or of your friendship being negatively affected.

Your psychotherapist is also a trained professional who can identify unhealthy emotional patterns and guide you towards greater emotional security and self esteem. Most people find witnessing or dealing with individuals going through extreme emotional states (whether it be sadness, anger, depression, anxiety) confronting and scary. A counselor and psychotherapist is trained to help individuals manage, moderate and lessen the intensity of these feelings.

Entering counselling or hypnotherapy can seem a daunting prospect, but there's no need for concern. Counselling and hypnotherapy sessions are confidential and non-judgemental. Professional counselling offers a safe, accepting, warm and confidential space in which you can share, explore, and transform problematic thoughts, feelings and behaviours into opportunities for growth, self-understanding and positive change.

And so, speaking to a friend is definitely better than speaking to no one! But saying 'too much' can change the dynamics of a friendship forever. Knowing how much is too much is not an exact science. But if you're unsure, try a counsellor.

On the other hand, you can't possibly say too much to a qualified and experienced counsellor, psychotherapist or hypnotherapist who, while being simultaneously professional and emotionally available, has specific skills to help you.

by: Adam Szmerling

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