Online Dating - Four Reasons Women Never Had It So Good
Nobody asked me, but I'm of the belief that online dating is uniquely well suited for women
. For most of our history, women have been defined by their relationships in ways that men are not. It goes a long way to explain why women tend to be better at them. (Sorry, guys; but you know it's true.)
Better at them or not, the 21st Century has not been kind to women's ability to form relationships in the first place. It's easy to see why. Women are obliged to wicker a viable, sustainable career in there, as well, along relationship and family aspirations, however you define them. Which brings us to online dating and why it works especially well for women.
1. It's high exposure. Once your profile is out there, it's available 24/7/365. It never takes a break and never has a bad-hair day. You know why that matters, don't you, ladies? It compensates for the fact that you've never been busier...or for both gender's obsession with technology. The techno-bubble many of us live in complicates, rather than eases the meeting problem. Between cellular phones, texting, tweeting and near-universal, instantaneous internet access, most of us are so busy staying in touch with people we already know that we are often too preoccupied to meet someone new. Online meeting helps with that.
2. It fits inside a professional woman's life. If you're a single (or single again) professional woman, online dating is optimized for how you must live. We've already mentioned how it helps deal with our frenetic pace of life. For professional women, the pace may be even more hectic, if they hope to succeed professionally, because most women have found it pays to consistently out-perform expectations. Because online dating is so efficient, it has the advantage of being respectful of your time. It is also highly flexible. It's is available when you are, so you don't have to make it fit, as with more traditional ways of meeting.
3. It helps women separate their personal and professional life. Our employers are the custodians of most of our waking hours. Because of this, there is often a temptation to mix work and social life, even though we all (well most of us) know better. Online dating gives women access to hundreds of available...and "looking..." men. Many more, in fact, than you will meet at work, even if you work for a large employer. When you fold in the potential pitfalls if a relationship begun at work ultimately fails, it's easy to see why online dating is a the better alternative.
4. You can filter your potential relationships better. In the more "natural," or accidental ways of meeting, you're often forced to snap decisions. Is he attractive? Is he truly interested in a relationship or something a less enduring? Is he trustworthy? In chance meetings, you have a lot of access...to include the advantage of body language and other contextual clues. But it all unfolds so quickly that your decision is mostly gut, if you're caught by surprise. As a result, women err on the side of caution, for obvious reasons. Online meeting allows you to proceed at a pace geared to your comfort level, because you are largely in control of how quickly things unfold.
That's all pretty good stuff, you might agree, but what about liars? One of the "knocks" online dating has suffered over the years is cyber-lying...or cyber-liars. It is certainly easier to lie online, than it is in person. But a recent study suggests that actual occurrences may be greatly exaggerated. As Jeffrey Hall, a Professor of Communications at the University of Kansas reported in Science Daily, (Mar. 8, 2010), "Because online daters hope to meet face-to-face eventually, the amount of lying is quite small." While my own conclusions are based on methods less scientific than Professor Hall's, I tend to agree with his conclusions; especially as online dating has become more mainstream.
This doesn't mean someone with mainstream interests won't misrepresent themselves. Both genders do that, though generally about different things. The growing evidence, however, suggests it is no less manageable than it ever was. The good news in online meeting/dating, is that it unfolds more gradually. As a result, you're actually more likely to pick out inconsistencies, simply because you have more time to think about them. Chalk up another for the "good news" column.
For all the reasons outlined above, women...but particularly professional women have a lot of reasons to use online dating/meeting to achieve their relationship goals. Whether single or single again, online dating is not only one of your best bets for meeting relationship minded men in the twenty-first century: It enjoys special advantages women have generally not had in the past. By almost any standard you want to use, women have never had it so good in the world of dating.
Copyright (c) 2010 Dirk Sayers
by: Dirk Sayers
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