My Parents Are Taking Over The Wedding Planning!
Flowers, wedding venue, colors, decor, etc. there are a lot of decisions to be made when planning a wedding. A lot of times, you'll ask parents for help only to have them take over and make decisions for you! Dealing with this can be awkward, especially when it's your prospective in-laws muscling in, but be sure to handle with care!
It takes a village to create a beautiful event but usually there is only one opinion that really matters: the couple's! Sometimes, in their enthusiasm to celebrate such an exciting time in life, parents or other relatives get involved. Sometimes, they get too involved. When relatives start taking over the wedding planning process and try to override the opinions of the soon-to-be-married couple, it is probably time to take them aside and have a bit of a talk.
This type of situation is always potentially awkward. On the one hand, your family is important and a wedding includes family as well as the engaged couple. If things have gotten out of hand, be gentle in bringing it up to your mother or other renegade relative. Pull him/her aside and mention that while their opinions are very important to you, it would be nice if some decisions were left up to the engaged couple. Advices, solicited or not, is usually meant with nothing but goodwill and so try to be patient with your relatives. They only want you to be happy.
Compromise is also a crucial tool in wedding plans and your family. If your husband's family is from Missouri and your family resides in Ohio, it is probably best not to have the wedding venue in Spokane. Try and make everything accessible to all your relatives. If you love the idea of a destination wedding be sure to explain this wish to your family, especially if they are unable to attend. If you don't get along with your future spouse's family, grit your teeth and try to find the positive aspects of your situation. It's not uncommon for families to have difficulty when coming together.
Although the decisions about decor, facilities, etc. are up to the couple, including your families will be appreciated. Consult with your family about special family traditions or anything they feel could add to the uniqueness of your wedding. Understanding that everyone is simply hoping they can help is a bit of a comfort when you feel like chaos has ensued and you're up to your eyeballs in tulle and terrible bridesmaid dresses.
Compromise will be your friend in this sometimes very awkward situation and optimism will help when things start to feel crazy. Try to be understanding and patient with your relatives and if the planning or decision-making gets to be too much then take your relatives aside and gently ask them to let you make some decisions. Handling this delicately will always be a good idea.
by: Christian Heftel
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