It isn't easy coming to terms with your cheating wife or what your wife's cheating means to your marriage. You're going to have to do it though. Sooner or later, decisions will need to be made about the future of your marriage. In this situation it's important to take your time and make the right decision but you can't keep going in limbo indefinitely.
What Steps Can You Take to Come to Terms With Your Cheating Wife Faster?
1) Find out why it happened. It's not enough to understand that it happened. You need to find out why she cheated. Women cheat for many different reasons. Some women do it as a cry for help to let their husbands know there are real problems in the marriage while other women do it as a means of breaking the final tie or bond that holds them to their husbands. Find out why your wife cheated so that you will be better able to come to terms with the fact that she cheated.
2) Stop denying or ignoring problems in the marriage. Women don't generally cheat when they are perfectly content at home. Only about 30% of women who cheat claim to be happy with their marriages. This means that 70% of women who cheat are in fact unhappy in their marriages. Find out what the problems are and fix them or you risk being in this situation again down the road. That is, of course, assuming you manage to fix things within the marriage for the time being. Until the real problems are addressed and resolved though there is little hope for a lasting marriage to be the result for the two of you.
3) Consider counseling. Not just for your marriage but for you as an individual. Even if your marriage doesn't make it through this trying time there is no reason you shouldn't be able to come out of this as a stronger man. And you know what? It takes a strong man to realize he's out of his depth and seek help. That's exactly what counseling does for people. It helps them find their feet after life has dealt them a nasty blow. This certainly counts as one of those times.
4) Realize that there is enough blame to go around. No one needs to start pointing fingers. It isn't entirely your fault that your marriage is on the rocks just as it isn't entirely her fault. There's no need to start making accusations or laying blame. You'll both be healthier and happier when you realize that.