Your marriage may depend on your ability to face up to what you have done and come clean with your wife after you cheat on her. It's not easy to be in those shoes but some men really need to tell their wives the truth and then move on to try and make things better in the marriage. If you are one of the many men who really needs to come learn with your wife after you cheat then there are a few things you need to do.
1) Apologize. It's really simple. Cheating is wrong. You know it's wrong. Apologize to your wife. BUT, whatever you do, do not make the mistake of shifting any blame for your cheating onto her shoulders. Make sure she understands that your cheating is not her fault. It's important if you want to try to save your marriage after all is said and done.
2) Acknowledge that your cheating has caused her pain. Let her know that her pain was never your intention but you felt it would be better to tell her the truth now and clear the air between you so that you can move forward in your marriage. It's better to learn now when it happens than to risk her being hurt years later by something you did long ago.
3) Allow her the time she needs to sort out her feelings. Don't push her into making a decision about the future until she has had the chance to process how she feels and move forward. It's important that she is able to fully understand the decisions she is making and is in the right frame of mind to accept the potential consequences for the choices she makes today.
4) Attempt to be empathetic and really put yourself in her shoes. Think of how you would feel in her position. See things as your wife would see them and not as you would see things if you were the one being cheated on. There is a HUGE difference between the two points of view. The thing is, you probably know your wife well enough to be able to see this situation from her eyes. You know how she's going to feel.
5) Trust the strength of your marriage to weather this storm. It may take time but if you both truly love each other and are willing to work to make things right you can save your marriage now that you've come clean with your wife after you cheat on her.