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Saving You're Marriage When You're The Only Spouse Who Wants To I'm often told (and I know from experience) that the world would be a much simpler place if both spouses were on board with a divorce at the same time. However, this is rarely the case. In my experience, more often than not, one spouse is ready to throw in the towel while the other wants desperately to pick up the pieces and fight for the marriage. However, saving your marriage when you are the only one who wants to can be a very difficult task.Often the divorcing spouse won't listen to (or isn't receptive to) anything that you say or do. They only want to move forward with the divorce and will block out any attempts that you make to change their mind. You're often left feeling like your only choices are to: demean yourself and plead; try to pull out all of the stops; try to manipulate them into changing their mind; or just giving up / or giving in. There's another way to handle this that often works better in the long run. It's approaching this situation from another angle and it requires controlling the only thing that you can control right now – yourself.Take A Careful Look At What You're Really...more
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Some Surprising Reasons Why Marriages End (And Why Understanding This Can Save Your Marriage) Almost daily, I write about saving and rescuing marriages. And, just as often, I receive emails from folks wanting to know why their marriages are ending and what they can do to stop, delay, or bypass this process. Often, when I ask why the marriage is in trouble, I get a range of about five different answers (depending upon whether the husband or the wife is giving them). Common answers are stress, money, sex, some external crises or stressful situation, or infidelity.Now, these things all occur in marriages and these things all cause problems. But, these things are not what has started the process or is the thing that will deal your marriage the final blow. No, these are external things that are a symptom of something else entirely- a lack of intimacy. Many people will try so hard to address the money or stress issue, thinking that once they do, the marriage will rebound. Although this may be true short term, without bringing the intimacy and the connection back, you will only be in the same place once another stressor is placed upon the marriage. This article will discuss...more
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