how to handle black african men in a relationship
how to handle black african men in a relationship
First of all, you have to understand your man. you ask yourself these questions; where is he from? What kind of upbringing did he get? What kind of social lifestyle does he prefer? What is his orientation about things- eurocentric, American centric, African centric or beyond these? What is his temperament like? Does he like to be treated like a baby- your baby or does he like you to see yourself as a baby to him and take orders from him? Is he imposing or more on the egalitarian side? Does he like you to meet his friends and family - not only meet them once or twice but hang out with them very often? Does he shower you with praises often? Does he have mood swings? Is he wont to hitting you? Is the outward impresion of him different from what you observe when you get close-up and personal? Does he like you to do all the work or does he want you to do just as much as you can and both of you will do the rest?
These are the most basic pointers to understanding your black African man and invariably keeping you relationship thriving.
Yeah! where your man is from has a lot to impact on his attitude. Every man has his pride which most of the time is influenced by socio-cultural factors. African men are known to take a great measure of pride in their roots especially if they have no reason to be ashamed of where they come from and of their extended family. they might take pride fro example in the fact that their people are known to be associated with wealth and fame. some take pride inthe fact that they are known to pull their efforts communally even if it implies favoritism, just for the assurance that they are open to better chances than others. If your black African boyfriend comes from any of such ethnicities and is proud of it then, he would be apt to stick to their historical practices like probably engaging himself in politics above average, being very vocal about things generally and such as are peculiar to his people. he would see nothing wrong in stiicking to the practices of a people that make him so proud-most likely anyway.
closely related to this is that you have to ask yourself what kind of up-bringing your man got. was he brought-up sparingly, was he pampered or brought up to be the perfect model of a man? Was he taught to show great respect to ladies or was he a witness to a bad example? Stuff like this tell you what to expect from ypor man. However, finding this out might pose aproblem and when it does, it is an indication that he did not learn under the best and there fore does not want you to know without god enough reason to, how he would behave in certain circumstances because it is not something he would be proud of. Then of course, if he didnot get the best upbinging then you have to know how to avoid doing those things that would make him unleash somethimg not too pleasant This means you have to study the telltales of his moods and causes of his mood swings. then you would experience relatively less sterss in your relationship.
The next on the list is knowing what kind of social lifestyle your man prefers. Does he like to be seen and noticed in public? If yes then you have to decide for yourself if you can cope with that because most of the time when you guys are in public he might make some decissions not because those are what he would totally prefer personally but because if he did otherwise, his friends might say some things to him that are likely to hurt him and to him why go thriugha all the stress? However, this depends on if your man has a strob=ng personality himself or if he is weak before his friends. this does not mean that if he is a very otu going person then he is apt to be difficult. It only means that if he likes to be heard and likes to do things and doesn't care fro everyone to find out then definitely there would be sometimes when because he has already let a lot of people in on the issue, then he would want to do anything to save face at such times. Remember, the African man is very proud!
If you know his approach to things then you can only do the right thing right? You can only be expected to play along that is if you think you like him that way. You both have to be compatible on this.
If you understand his temperament then you also know what and when to do it. You'll know at once what not to do and when someone else does something,, you get to know what his reaction would be and how to handle him at the moment.
if he wants to be your baby ket him be it but be careful, do not over indulge!If he wants you to be his then you can only enjoy it. Who doesn't like a caring guy afterall? You have to show him that you care as much too so that you don't seem to give credit to whoever says you're not worth it.
if he likes you to hang around his friends and family then you most likely are on your way to the aisle and you have to do what you wpold be proud of when you become his wify!
If he showers you with praise often then he is truly in love with you no doubt! but if he hits you, its time to start taking a second thought girlfriend! He has to be compelled by any means even a breakup, to stop his misdeeds. If he several identities then you have to learn to adapt to each... lastly but certainly not exhaustively, if he acts like a slave driver then you have to sit down and talk it over with him. you tell him just how you feel but most politely of course except ypu like being worked to the breaking point. But i tell you girlfriend, ther definitely would come a time when you would wish for oterwise. then, you will tell your self it would have been better you told him earlier, now, it would seem like you are getting fed up for some hidden reasons, with the relationship. The earlier the better!
With all these simple tips i'm sure understanding and dating a black African man will not prove to be so much of a hassle anymore. Enjoy your re;ationships girlfriends!
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