Why Are Men Afraid Of Commitment? Things That Scare The Bejesus Out Of Him
You see it all the time. Men who are strong, brave, courageous, and scared of nothing suddenly turn into cowardly lions at even the slightest stutter of the word "commitment". But why? What is it that makes men so darn afraid to commit to even the most beautiful and amazing women?
To understand commitment phobia in men, we need to understand one important point. Nationally recognized relationship expert, Kara Oh, makes this point rather clear when she states in her book, "Men Made Easy", that, "Men lose when they commit." Let's dig deeper into what men want and find out exactly what this means.
Why Men Are Afraid Of Commitment
Many men don't want to commit because they feel they are giving up many of the things that define their masculinity (privacy, alone time, time with their buddies, the bachelor lifestyle) while at the same time taking on a HUGE responsibility to care for a wife and possible future children.
Men are expected to be the provider for the family. Once married, a man feels like the entire burden is placed on him to be successful and take care of a family. Failure is a death sentence to men because men are judged by their success just as women are often judged by their beauty.
Even if his wife wants to work, society doesn't EXPECT her to work. She has a choice. Men don't get that choice. They are expected to work and "bring home the bacon" so to speak.
So what happens?
When a man commits, he often loses sight of his own goals and dreams. He takes a job he doesn't really like because it pays more and he needs to support the family. When polled, most men say they would choose a different profession if they didn't have any financial constraints put on them.
Once married, men have less power in a relationship than women do if you define power as having control over your own life. They have fewer choices once married than they do when they are single. They give up their privacy. They give up their alone time. They give up their bachelor freedoms. That's why, "men lose when they commit."
Another reason men are afraid of commitment is because they realize women often change after marriage. Women generally put on weight (an average of 15 lbs) and may start to focus on a man's faults and flaws instead of admiring and appreciating him in the relationship.
Men know and understand this and it scares the bejesus out of them to imagine being stuck with a nagging, complaining wife who they can't keep happy anymore. Learning how to make a guy fall in love with you so he never wants to leaves requires and understanding of what's going on his mind so you can alleviate his fears and help him see all the fabulous things he's gaining by committing to an amazing woman who truly "gets him".
by: Derek Blandford
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