The Five Things Men Are Doing Wrong in Bed and How to Fix Them
The Five Things Men Are Doing Wrong in Bed and How to Fix Them
What is interesting is that due to people lacking the necessary communication skills when it comes to sex, silence becomes the tool of choice many couples use when communicating about their sexual needs, wants and overall sexual satisfaction.
But it doesn't have to be that way!
True - the road to sexual bliss can be a rocky one. It is not always going to shake the rafters or make the earth move. BUT, if you are willing to work at it you can find the path to an amazing, adventurous and rafter rocking sex life... There is nothing worse than a lover who does not care about their partner's sexual and emotional satisfaction. Not only is it considered bad bedroom manners, but having that kind of attitude will not inspire a woman to make a return visit to your boudoir.
By keeping in mind a few simple rules of what I call sexual etiquette you can you can go a long way to pleasing your partner and making her feel that you genuinely care about her pleasure. Just making the effort will show her you are willing to learn about what makes her feel good and will show her the potential sex life you two can have as time goes on.
What follows are five things many men are doing wrong during sex and some tips for how to fix them.
1. Thinking you are a mind reader. Don't assume you know what she is thinking or wanting while you are making love. Good sex starts with good communication. If you know someone well enough to have sex with them then you should know them well enough to ask them what they like, what they want, and what they DON'T. But don't overdo it either. There nothing more annoying than having a man ask you every two seconds if something feels good. It breaks the concentration and you can't focus on what you feel, much less whether or not you like it. There are three types of sexual signaling. Verbal, non-verbal and para-verbal. Pay attention to all three. What she says, what she does, how she moves and the moans and groans she makes to indicate pleasure or displeasure.
2. Glossing over the erogenous areas. Women are more than two breasts and a vagina. There is pleasure to be had by including the whole body! The neck, inner thighs, stomach are just a few areas women may like to be touched and kissed.
3. Not enough foreplay. We all have instances where the passion is just too great and you both just want to rip each others clothes off and the primal urge to "just do it" takes over and when the mood is right - that is great! But - whether she's telling you or not, women need some serious foreplay to get ready for actual intercourse. It is just one of the differences in the way men and women get aroused sexually. A woman doesn't just need to lubricate before intercourse - she needs to expand and open to be ready for a penis. Some women need more time than others.
4. Stopping foreplay at the crucial moment. I had a friend ask me, "Why does my boyfriend stop performing oral sex on me right when I am ready to come?" The answer is because men see foreplay as a means to intercourse. Yet, most women do not orgasm from intercourse. So if you follow the "Ladies First" rule where you give her what she needs to orgasm before you have actual intercourse you will go a long way to providing her pleasure. Plus she will undoubtedly be impressed!
5. Thinking the clitoris needs the same kind of stimulation as the penis. Most men want women to be a little aggressive and firm when they touch them. But women need to be started off with gentle stimulation. Slow down and take your time. Be attentive. Try gently making little circles and then try going back and forth and up and down gradually increasing the intensity. Trust me, even if she's not telling you otherwise - this addition to your bedroom skill set will go a long way to getting what you want too!
So there you have them! Five mistakes and how to fix them. If you keep these things in mind and heed the advice here, you are well on your way to better sex, more sex, and in all likelihood, a more fulfilling relationship overall!
Kelly Connell better known online as "SexPert Kelly" is a contributing author to many sites dealing with Human Sexuality, Dating and Relationships. Her newest project covers online dating and how the newly single amongst us can maximize their online dating experienceswhile minimizing the disasters..:-) click here to read more!
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