Stop Your Divorce With These Unconventional Tips That Just Might Work To Save Your Marriage

Stop Your Divorce With These Unconventional Tips That Just Might Work To Save Your Marriage

If you've found this article, chances are you are the spouse who wants to preserve the marriage and prevent the divorce, while your spouse is the one who wants to end the relationship.

I don't know your situation, but I can tell you that most spouses who want a divorce do so for the same basic reason, even though the circumstances which brought this on may be different from one spouse to another. Typically, for whatever reason, the divorcing spouse no longer feels intimate toward you. The symptom of this can be things like infidelity, cheating, fighting, disrespect, "falling out of love," "not feeling it any more," or phrases like "I just want out."

Usually, no matter what the spouse who wants the divorce says, what they really mean is that they do not feel intimate the way they used to and (at least right now) they can't imagine, don't know how to, or don't want to restore this feeling.

Your Goal When You Want To Stop A Divorce: When you are the one (and likely the only one) who wants to stop the divorce, it's very common to panic, become desperate and pull out all of the stops to get your husband or wife back. People will very commonly try to reason with, beg, threaten, play games with, or repeatedly text, call, or initiate communication with the spouse who wants the divorce. These things are a natural reaction, but they are usually a mistake.

How To Act When You Don't Want To End Your Marriage: I completely understand how you feel right now because I went through this situation too, but to change your circumstances, restore intimacy, and stop a divorce what you really need to so is restore your spouse's image of you as someone with whom he wants to be married and feel intimate with again.

Obviously, once upon a time, your spouse saw you as highly desirable and as someone for whom he felt so strongly about, that he / she wanted to be with you forever. Your job is restore this favorable image of you in your spouse's mind.

Your first inclination may be to try to take the divorcing spouse down a trip on memory lane, thinking if they remember all of the happy times, they'll forget about the divorce. This often doesn't work, because the divorcing spouse has probably already tried this before they got the point where they were ready to leave.

Unfortunately, you have to change the way your spouse thinks of you right now because this is the person he is divorcing right now. The way you do this is through your actions today and in the future.

Become Who He / She First Fell In Love With: I know you are thinking I am crazy when I say this and I know you're probably saying "What? I'm devastated right now. How am I supposed to pretend to be someone I'm not?" I know it is a lot to ask, but it's highly important that you ACT like the same loving, carefree, attentive, intriguing, interesting, and likely happy go lucky person your spouse first found so attractive and alluring. How can you do this when your world is shattered? As Dr. Phil says, "You fake it til you make it."

Or, to borrow the very famous phrase from the book "The Secret," you act "as if" what you want to happen has already happened. You "attract" the things you want in your life by thinking positively about them. Now, of course you can't go overboard here because if you do, frankly you'll appear crazy or insincere.

But, basically your goal is to find a way (even with the very unfortunate circumstances) to restore the image of you in your spouse's as desirable.

Save Your Marriage By Agreeing With Your Husband Or Wife (At First. For Now): Again, I know you think I am crazy, but hear me out. From my own experience, I know that the very best thing you can do is to AGREE with your spouse (even if you don't deep down.) This will immediately diffuse any awkwardness, alienation, and anger and put you on the side of your spouse. It's best to say that although this makes you sad because you love your spouse and value the marriage, you agree that the marriage is in trouble and that you likely both could use a break. This technique requires some know how to pull off. (There is actually a video that demonstrates how to do it convincingly which I liked so much I put on my blog.)

Why agree with a break or separation even if you don't? Because this will peak your husband or wife's interest and put them in a place where they can start to see you as the desirable person they once loved rather than the undesirable one they want to divorce. You do this by taking baby steps, one step at time. With each small success, you become more desirable to your husband or wife, and you can then begin to heal the relationship and stop the divorce.

To obtain a link to the demonstrational video mentioned in this article, as well as see what I feel are the best resources to save a marriage, please visit my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com

You can alsoread the very personal story of how I saved my marriage once I finally understood these techniques at http://isavedmymarriage.com

http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/stop-your-divorce-with-these-unconventional-tips-that-just-might-work-to-save-your-marriage-2617226.html

POST COMMENT

9 Women's Fashion Trends for AW 2010 How To Select Women's Robes Causes Of Infertility in Women - Surprising Causes You Don't Know About My Husband Is Unhappy And Wants A Divorce? How Can I Make Him Happy Again And Save The Marriage?: (Step By Step Instructions.) Can a Marriage Be Saved Even After The Husband Moves Out And Says He Wants To Move On? Advice And Tips For When Your Marriage Is In Real Trouble I'm Afraid My Husband Wants to Leave Me. How Can I Convince Him To Stay And Work On Our Marriage? How to Make My Voice Deeper - A Deep and Strong Voice Is More Appealing and Sexy to Women 3 Ways to Set Boundaries with Your Woman That Won't Push Her Away How To Shop For Ladies Watches As A Gift Philippine Ladies Chat – Is It Easy To Communicate With Them? Deep Female Psychology Secrets To Make A Woman Like You Ways to Impress Women