Single Parents Dating: How To Break The Ex-habit
Breaking with your ex requires a decision. Then you have a reason why you did it and why now they are called exes. The reasons could be because he's just too arrogant, abusive or too needy. You just break don't up with someone for no reason at all.
If however, that you can seem to have a string of exes that rather stick to a certain "type", then having a new boyfriend would just end with a broken hearted you. Break this bad habit to avoid breaking your heart.
here are some great tips to break the habit and avoid being in a relationship with the other version of your ex.
1. The list.
Spend some time to reflect on yourself. That time when the kids are sleeping or when in school so there would be no distractions. You have to be in a calm and reflective mood to do this. Get the pen and paper out then start working your brain.
First off, let us start on the easier bit. What are the things that attracted you to your ex? Go through in detail and decide why your ex merited that certain "label" on him. If you would say "romantic", then state the reason why.
Second, list all the qualities you dislike about your ex. Go though it with a fine tooth comb and work out all the reasons why you wrote each one. Be honest about it. You don't like it that he's more vain than you, then write it down. Now don't write out of anger, make sure that all the items in the list are fairly earned by him.
2. Pick and mix.
Moving on, look at the "good list" and identify each ones that are important to you. If the list is long then at least pick 10 then put it in action. Now, when someone asks you on a date, whipping your list out and asking the guy if he has any of those traits are kind of random- and crazy. He'll be able to bolt out the door before you can blink. Just remember those good qualities then look at the guy if he possess these qualities. It might take two or more dates to figure him out but you'll get there.
Now take a good look at the "bad list" and take note of the "real deal breakers" for you. Not the things which annoy you but the things that you really can't stand in a person. Your ex talks like he owns you and is too arrogant and makes you feel insecure or small- then include it. Your date will be on his best behaviour the first time but you'd spot these traits eventually. Don't get too judgmental though, observe him first. If you find the signs early on then move on, sometimes no matter how hard you try, you can't change a person for who he really is. If you don't want to deal with the same ex manifestations then let him go.
3. Reflect.
A relationship always has two parties involved. Make sure that all the qualities that you are looking for in a partner, is also present in you. If you want to have a kind partner then show some kindness too. In reality, we are drawn to people who reflect the best qualities in us. When you are out on your best mood, then you should be able to seek out Mr. Right instead of always running into Mr. Wrong.
If you really want to grasp that happiness and move on then avoid the destructive habits from eating you.If you do those same things with your relationship or go out with versions of your exes then be unhealthy for you- emotionally, physically and mentally.
by: Andrea Carless
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