Relationships, Dating, Your Goals And How You Should Act
Dating relationships take many forms in our society
. For most people dating is a way to enjoy the company of the other sex and a way to get to know another person. Some daters look at the dating scene as a means to gratifying their egos and counting conquests. Others view dating as the primary means of selecting someone to spend the rest of their lives with in a significant and enduring marriage relationship.
Whatever the goals you may have in dating it's always wise to remember three things: the person you're dating is a valuable human being worthy of your respect, dating is by nature a temporary arrangement and it's an opportunity to be a giver rather than a taker.
The first thing to remember in a dating relationship is that the person you're taking out is worthy of being treated with respect. This means essentially that you are honest, polite and willing to act in the other person's best interest. Respect is the fundamental basis of a good relationship. Love, as defined by looking out for the other person's best interest, is another way of showing respect and is the most validating way you can relate to the person you're dating.
Conversation should always be light on the "I" and heavy on the "you". Be willing to step out of the centre of attention. Allow your date to see that you are interested in what he's thinking. If she has a particular interest or hobby you can pursue it with her. Your date will enjoy the gift of attentive listening and affirmation. Very few people will continue dating someone who is disrespectful and dominates the relationship.
The second thing to keep in mind is that dating isn't marriage. There may be some level of commitment in a dating relationship but dating is usually transitory. Too many people feel that accepting the offer of a date commits them to some form of relationship beyond the time spent together. Pressure is sometimes applied by insecure or dominating personalities that attempt to fence in the other person. When the heat is turned up too soon most folks choose to walk away.
The third point to remember is that dating is an opportunity to be a giver rather than a taker. Dating isn't just wine and dinner out. It can be a healthy way to spend an afternoon as you help your date rake the leaves, wash the car or paint the fence. Many people of dating age have children that can use an afternoon at the football game or playing at the beach. Look for ways to make your date feel important, affirmed and accepted. As you give and forget about receiving the dating relationship will provide more joy and excitement than you expected. This is how people are designed to relate. As the old saying goes it's much more blessed to give than to receive.
You can get to know someone if you're willing to do it the right way.