Recovering From Infidelity - How To Get Over Being Angry At Your Spouse For Cheating
Recovering From Infidelity - How To Get Over Being Angry At Your Spouse For Cheating
It's devastating to find out that the person you love has stepped outside the marriage and had an affair. Understandably you feel anger and resentment toward your spouse for betraying you, and you have every right to your angry feelings. Anger has its place, but left uncontrolled it can create more problems for you and your marriage. That is why breaking the cycle of anger in your relationship is so important when you are recovering from infidelity in your marriage.
Before you even begin to learn how to cope with and manage your angry feelings, you first need to explore why you are holding on to your anger in the first place. Is it because you want your cheating spouse to know how much he has hurt you? Or perhaps you want him to accept full responsibility for the pain his behavior caused and for him to be genuinely remorseful about it? This is not asking too much, after all you were made to look like a fool and so you want assurances from your spouse that this is not going to happen again.
But continually being angry with your spouse is not going to move you forward toward healing your relationship and recovering from infidelity. In fact it will have the opposite effect because your spouse will become defensive, withdraw and most likely attack you back. Agreed that it was your spouse who behaved in just an abominable manner, but if you decide to stay with him and rebuild your marriage, then you have to learn how to manage those angry feelings.
At the same time you just can't pretend that everything is peachy in your marriage. So you have to find ways to express your hurt. You need to be able to communicate your pain to your spouse by opening and maintaining the lines of communication with him. Meaning that you have to put your hurt feelings and your resentments out there without blaming your spouse. This is not going to be easy and you may find that you need the help of an objective third party like a marriage counselor to get going.
Recovering from infidelity is a very complex issue, and that is why most of the time you need some type of outside help to get through it successfully. Anger and resentment are not going to go away by themselves. You have to actively work at letting go of your feelings.