Parents' rights in islam
Parents' rights in islam
Islam gives much care to the structure of the family, the small unit of society. The Muslim family is based on love, cooperation and mercy. The same feeling should be reciprocal between neighbours as this fosters a well-coherent society based on love and cooperation.
The Holy Qur'an is emphatic on giving the ultimate care and mercy to parents. The following set of morals should be keenly practised by Muslim children towards their parents:
1: Right of kindness
God says in the Holy Qur'an, what means:
"Your Lord has decreed that you should worship nothing except Him, and (show) kindness to your parents, whether one or both of them attain old age (while they are) still with you" (17:23)
Here God stresses the rights of parents by making kindness and respect to parents next to worshipping Him.
2: Don't say aught that might anger them
God says in the Holy Qur'an what means:
"Never say to them a word of contempt nor scold them."(17:23)
In Arabic the word, "Augh' is used in place of contempt. A Qur'an expounder says if there is a lesser word than, "Augh" in Arabic, it would have been used. Another Qur'an expounder says that the word, "Augh" doesn't only imply the least expression of contempt but it also implies that when parents get old enough, like babies they won't be able to control themselves. A son, when carrying or cleaning his parents, should not say the word, "Augh", which is an expression of smelling something bad.
3: Speak to them with humility
God says in the Holy Qur'an what means:
"Stay before them with humility" (17:24)
When standing before them show the ultimate respect as does a slave with his master. With humility and submission talk to them lest they should be hurt by your harsh or loud words or they might be shy to ask for something.
4: Your relation and kindness should not stop with their death
God says in the Holy Qur'an what means:
"My Lord, show them mercy, just as they cared for me in my childhood."(17:24)
Children's righteous deeds to their parents should not stop with their death. Children should remain grateful to them as long as they live and even after they have passed away. They should always ask God to shower them with mercy. Doing what God ordains is undoubtedly an act that you will be rewarded for or for which you will be sinned if it is not done.
5: Non-Muslim Parents
The worst among the sins is to be an enemy to God and Islam, yet a Muslim should remain obedient and righteous to his parents even if they are infidels. He should obey them in all what they ask except if they ask him to ascribe partners with God. God says in the Holy Qur'an what means:
"Be grateful to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (the final) goal. But if they strive to compel thee to associate with Me that of which thou hast no knowledge, do not obey them; but keep company with them in this life in a kind manner and follow the way of those who turn to Me. Then to Me will be your return and I will inform you (of the meaning of) all that you did. (31:14-15)
6: Disobedience to Parents: A Major Sin
In Islam, disobeying parents and harming them is a despicable sin that would incur perdition in the hellfire. It is considered among the major sins in Islam second only to ascribing other gods with God.
The Prophet (SWS) says:
"Shall I not inform you about the three major sins?" Those who were present replied, Yes, O Messenger of Allah.' He said Associating partners with Allah and disobedience to parents,' and sitting up from the reclining position, he continued, and telling lies and false testimony; beware of it." (Reported by Al-Bukhari & Muslim)
The Parent's Consent for Jihad
Pleasing one's parents is considered so important in Islam that the son is forbidden to volunteer for jihad without his parent's permission. This is in spite of the fact that fighting in the cause of Allah (jihad fi sabeel Allah) has such great merit in Islam. Even the merit of a person who spends his nights in prayer and his days in fasting falls short of it.
In fact among the most noble deeds in Islam is striving to defend the Islamic state, it is the duty of every Muslim to participate in the Jihad. However, striving for the pleasure of parents is far more important than jihad in the cause of God. The following Hadith stresses this fact.
Narrated Abdullah bin Amr bin al-'As: A man came to the Prophet (SWS) and asked his permission to go for jihad. The Prophet (SWS) asked, Are your parents living?' Yes,' he replied. The Prophet (SWS) then said, Then strive in their service.' (Reported by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
This Hadith clearly demonstrates that taking care of parents is a greater obligation than jihad in the cause of Allah.
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