Parenting Tips: Try Something Different
Parenting Tips: Try Something Different
The best parenting tip isn't to get your child to stop doing something; it's to get them doing something else instead. Don't dig in the flowerbed; dig in the sandbox! Don't pour juice on the table; let's pour water in the sink. Positive parenting means understanding your child's impulse to act, and instead of reacting, find a way to divert that action by offering your child an alternative.All children want to explore their world. That's how a child learns the concepts of physics, biology and chemistry. That's how they learn to process their world.If you yell at your child when they do something wrong, you are teaching them that curiosity and exploring can be dangerous.If you give your child space to explore their environment, it builds their self-esteem. This doesn't mean letting them do anything they want. It means offering them an alternative course of action.It is natural be angry when they find their child making a mess, but punishing a child fosters low-self esteem and fear. It may stop the immediate behaviour, but the long-term consequences are serious.The challenge of positive parenting to stop reacting right away to everything. If you react right away, you lose the chance to look for an alternative solution.The next time your child is doing something wrong, take a moment, look at what they are doing, and ask yourself if there's something they could be doing that is similar and acceptable to you.Are they climbing on furniture? Pile pillows on the floor to climb instead, or take them to a nearby playground.Are they throwing their toys in the house? Give them a ball, and play catch outside.Are they smashing and mixing up their food into a mess? Get them to help you mix and pour while you make muffins instead.Of course, you will explain to your child that what they were doing was wrong, as you offer them the alternative.It is important for your child to know what is good for them to do, and what they should not do again. Speak with your child respectfully, and explain why what they are doing is a problem.Then, when you offer the alternative, you are showing your child that you respect what they want to do, and that you understand that things like digging, exploring, pouring, colouring and throwing are all enjoyable. It's just better to do them in a different way.Diverting your child to alternatives also teaches them to make decisions about what they want to do, and includes them in that process. So when they feel they would like to throw, pour or dig, they can think about how to do it properly.The next time you find your child doing wrong, the best parenting tip is to take a moment before you react. Positive parenting means understanding what your child is doing, and seeing if together, you can come up with some alternatives that suit you both
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