Obtaining What You Wish As A Step-Parent
Obtaining What You Wish As A Step-Parent
He needed reminding concerning things too, however I could not bring myself to try and do the duty out of fear of becoming a nag and being disliked by him. Consequently I bit me lip on.Did the lip biting have a negative impact?Yes. I became additional negative and pissed off towards my stepson and that had an impression on my relationship with my partner. It got to the stage where I could hardly be in the same room as my stepson while not noticing one thing he was doing 'wrong'.I did not tell his dad at risk of nagging and moaning and I didn't want to alienate myself with my stepson (that I used to be doing through my non-verbal communication anyway).The pressure was building at intervals me and I wasn't enjoying being a stepmum at all. One thing had to change.You want to find out how to speak your desires effectivelyI learnt a long time ago that you cannot control or change different people and that you need to be the amendment you would like to see. So I realised that it had been me who required to vary, not my stepson.Through exploring what was going wrong I discovered that I wasn't communicating my wants effectively. After all I discovered that I'd NEVER been any smart at communicating my needs and was probably even suppressing them.So what are our desires? These are visiting be totally different for us all however generally we tend to all need to be loved, understood, to feel connected, to feel special, to feel secure, revered, listened too, etc.By not communicating what I needed I wasn't serving to myself or my family. Of course I was doing the opposite. Once I realised this I knew it absolutely was my responsibility, for the success and health of my family, to create positive I communicated what I needed. So I discovered how to do that.When over thirty years of not communicating my needs I do still would like to make a conscious effort to get it right.What are the results?Currently I easily get 10 minutes peace and quiet after dinner. The youngsters place their laundry in the laundry basket, take care of a few tasks around the house and speak to me with additional "pleases" and "thank yous" than before.These few easy things have made a positive difference to my family. Things run more smoothly now and I have a more peaceful outlook!
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