Is Online Dating For You?
Is Online Dating For You?
Is Online Dating For You?
Everything in modern life changes over time, to a certain degree, and the dating scene is no different. There was a time when the norm for dating was to become acquainted with someone through work, church activities, or the ubiquitous singles bar, taking some time to get to know each other, determine if there is any serious interest, and then possibly make the leap from friendship to dating or perhaps something more serious.
With advances in technology, most notably the internet, all the rules have been rewritten. Online dating sites have sprung up almost on a daily basis, some successful, such as the enormously popular Eharmony, others are more quirky, such as Zoosk.com with its borderline erotic/comedic television commercials, or risqu, such as discreet adventures.com which promotes extramarital relationships.
Online dating's primary advantage is that it allows you to specifically narrow down the type of person you are looking to meet. You are usually required to join some kind of online dating service, which is basically a club of other like-minded people with similar goals. Some dating sites are free, however most are paid subscriptions, and are targeted towards a specific preference such as race, religion, interests, sexual orientation, or age range.
The main goal behind any dating site is to basically cut through much of the preliminary dating ritual and connect you to someone who shares your interests, beliefs, or convictions, and who is hopefully seeking a long term serious relationship. You will be asked to fill out a profile, which is basic information about yourself, then choose the subscription plan that works the best for you. Your profile will be available on the site, and you can make requests for introductions and respond to those who request to be introduced to you.
At this point in the process, online discussions or chats are held so you can get to know each other better and decide if a personal meeting is in order. Now the transition into more traditional dating practices will begin, and while not every connection is a guaranteed match, much less a success, numerous stories of successful introductions that led to long term relationships or marriage abound. At the end of the day, it is still largely based on how you present yourself and whether or not there is any chemistry between you and the person you choose to meet.
One of the major pluses of online dating is that the initial introductions are done with a degree of anonymity. It is always a bad idea to offer any personal information, such as your address, phone number, e-mail, etc to anybody you just met online. The idea is to provide a measure of protection between both parties until they get to know each other better and a level of trust has been established. You both must make the mutual decision to exchange more personal information; don't do it if the other party is unwilling to reciprocate.
If you do decide to take the next step and meet in person, remember that no matter how many times you have talked online, no matter how nice they may be, and no matter how much you think you know them, this person is still a stranger. Do not meet anywhere that you may find yourself in an undesirable situation. Meeting in a home or a hotel or anywhere that is isolated is a very bad idea. Make arrangements to meet in a very public place such as a restaurant or shopping mall, and make sure your friends and family know where you have gone and when to expect you to return.
When it comes to choosing an online dating site to work through, take your time and do your homework. Determine what you are looking for in a partner, height, weight, interests, location, et al. and then choose the one that emphasizes the qualities and characteristics that are important to you. You may want to begin with a list of seven or eight dating sites and narrow it down from those. After a week or so you may notice that you are spending most of your time on one or two of the sites.
Of course any time you are dealing with any industry or business, you are going to find those that are scams. Some of the warning signs to look for include:
If the communication is difficult to understand (i.e. it is obvious that English is not their first language)
If the responses are immediate every time you send them a message, with no previous discussion about when you will be online.
If e-mails show a change in tone, or language, or style throughout the time of communication. This may indicate that more than one person is actually writing the messages.
If they place an inordinate amount of the emphasis on learning about you, yet give you very little i information about them.
If the photograph they provide is too good to be true. If the person on the other end posts a photo that strikes you as just a little too perfect, it probably is. This is not to say that attractive people don't use sites such as this (they do) but a fake picture is a perfect ruse.
Obviously, online dating isn't for everybody. Should you choose to go this route when looking for that special someone, always remember that honesty is still the best policy. Choose photos that are recent, and accurate, not doctored or airbrushed. Answer the introductory questionnaires as honestly as possible; don't give answers that you think somebody else might want to hear. Above all else, avoid those cheesy come on lines..they sounded corny in the singles bar and they sound even more so in print.
So take your time, do your homework, put your best foot forward, and here's hoping that you find the love of a lifetime.
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