When I say pull it together, I mean stop and take a deep breath or two and get control of your emotions
. It's pretty easy for things to get out of control in an emotional situation. The best thing that you can do is to back off and take some time to gain your composure. Once you get control of yourself and get rid of all that anger, then you can think about opening the lines of communication once again.
Now that you are taking a few moments to chill and maintain, you can now start to reflect back on what has happened. Step back and take a look at the way things are formulating. Understand what is happening. Try looking at the situation from different angles. Try to see it from your spouses perspective and even through the eyes of outsiders. Looking at it from different angles may reveal that things are not quite as bad as you first thought them to be.
Once you put everything into perspective, you will find that you have minimized the pressure of the situation. You will be able to see how some small things could have been blown out of proportion. Hopefully you and your spouse will get to the point where you can look back at how something small snowballed into a near catastrophe and get a giggle out of it. Although a near break up is nothing to laugh at, if your marriage is back on the right track you will see the humor.
Now that you have put everything in its proper perspective and the two of you have learned from the experience, it's time to move on to happier times. The next step is to commit to each other and pull together to save your marriage.