If Only...The Extraordinary Moment
Author: Barry Eisen
Author: Barry Eisen
IF Only... THE Extraordinary Moment Theres your beginning. How does the rest of your story go?
If you could write your own eulogy, what would you write? What would be the significant decisions, events, places and people of whom you'd speak? What moments were missed, relationships not pursued, opportunities not explored? Where did you settle rather than opt for the passion? Where did you get stuck instead summoning energy to move ahead? Where did you make a difference?
No ones life is either completely this or that. What would be your significant images? What would you choose to remember?
For years, I've asked of many, "Is there anything that you regret or would do differently if you had the chance?" Initially, often comes the superficially positive, If I had it to do all over again, Id do the same things... no regrets... it's all been great... a learning experience... I'd make the same choices, yadda yadda. And for most, it's nonsense! That first level of response is like the automatic "I'm fine to an casually tossed "How are you?" When we delve deeper with, "If you could rewrite your life, what would you change?" and we allow time for reflection, responses become more thoughtful. And now pours the stuff that therapists hear all day long.
Nan tells a story of meeting a financier when she was in her 30's and he was in his late 70's. She asked why, with his considerable success, was he taking her program in personal growth and success as she had less than 1/2, at least in time and business, the life experience. He offered, "Years ago, when some of my friends began to age, experience illness or die, and I had the privilege of spending time with them, I asked if they had anything they regretted... and ALL of them said that they regretted far more the things that they did NOT do, then the things they did." He'd decided to never limit himself with the words "I know that" and to stay open to what presented itself as new idea or perspective. He saw that in her and encouraged her to say YES to life's big opportunities and smallest moments.
I keep his wisdom in mind when I prepare CD's designed to support the next phase of anyone's life. So I ask, "If you were looking back on your life from your death bed, are there things you would like to have changed? To what did you say "No" and wonder "IF ONLY... ?" Would you have paid more attention in school, stood up to the bully, returned the phone call, tended to a relationship, been more giving, practiced your faith, taken a chance on the stock or business opportunity, said yes to the concert, read the book, spent more quality time with kids, family, friends, or said "I love you?" Hindsight is great, and the best part is, we don't have to wait to have it. And with your desire and sincere intent, THIS can be THE MOMENT that creates your absolute satisfaction and joy when it's your time to look back. This moment can be the one where you decide to implement the use of the CD and its personalized vision. This is THE Extraordinary Moment as soon as you say YES to it and allow yourself to tranform.
Obviously there arent do-overs in the actuality we've lived A day lost, gone or invested is a day lost, gone or invested. In Hollywood, rewrites are possible. Here's how we do it in our own scripts. We not only have the opportunity to create ourselves differently in the time in front of us, but, in THE Extraordinary Moment, we can choose a perspective that serves us even considering our past experience. The past is not fixed. It's as kaleidoscopic as the memories and perspectives we choose of it. Rememeber, it's never what happens that matters, it's how we view it that empowers or disenfranchises us from our goals.
So, what DO you want instead? You cant live a single day over but you can write a better script. Who and how do you want to be when you grow up? Whats it going to be like for you and those who experience you? If the best way to predict the future is to create it, what do you want the future to be? When is NOW the best time to make it happen?
'Tis the time of year to reflect and take inventory in setting your course. You dont need the three ghostly apparitions of Scrooge to take you to the past, present and future to impact your life now. Its not hard to make the changes happen, but it does take some planning and follow through. Abort IF Only! Systems GO: The Extraordinary Moment!
Here's how to create the rest of your time by your conscious design.. it's a perfect time... time for the Personal New Year Revolution.
Here are 5 KEYS for getting back to or creating a life by choice not chance and HOW to use them.
1. Set goals for 2010 that stretch you. If you're comfortable, chances are you're doing things the way you've done them so expect the same results. If you want more, you must BECOME more First.
Create a life plan like a business plan. Dream big. Make your dreams into MUST. Imagine them fulfilled. What would it be like with no regrets? With excitement? With fulfillment of knowing you gave your best?
Make a PLAN. Write EXACTLY the steps you need to do to get where you want to go. Some things will change as your journey unfolds. Be flexible in the steps while locked into the vision as a MUST. Don't work on focus--work on the goal fulfillment, focus will develop itself when the dream is a MUST.
Get used to feeling uncomfortable. Its the feeling of growing, of being alive.
Be specific about your wants. Put them on paper. Short term and long, once you write them down your consciousness and your decisions during the day change as your dreams become priority.
Chunk them down to make them approachable and doable.
Set a goal date for each accomplishment creating a sense of urgency and focus.
Follow through and show yourself what you can do, not what you cant. If you havent been consistent in the past, use those negative feelings of falling short to move you to create a better reality. Move past the lazy or challenging stage and when you find resistance, see it for what it is (another step in the process) and continue on. Distractions come in many forms. All distractions are equal. All give you the opportunity to show yourself you can decide over and over in the direction of your goals and dreams. This IS personal growth.
2. Choose Relationships with Care: Select your partners, friends and mentors well. Whom you choose to spend time and thoughts with will help shape your decisions and life. To whom are you giving the keys to your life? You are known by the company you keep. Pay attention to the time and mind vampires. More distractions.
3. Learn more. First, learn more about you. Make Personal Growth a daily DO. Your business will never grow more than you do. Read the popular business books and autobiographies of those with accomplished lives. You cant pick up a bad one. It more depends on where you are and what you think you need. Trust that book or tape to which you are attracted and read it like it matters.
Take classes and seminars with a mindset that saysIm new, Im teachable and Ill use whats important for me. Learn more about your business. When youre green you grow and when youre ripe you rot. Stay fresh. Keep your head in the game.
Act on any great idea NOW... even if only a small step in its direction.
4. Take care of your HEALTH
SLEEP: Improve your sleep patterns if you have problems there. Poor sleep impacts not only energy levels and health by compromising the immune system, but slows down the process of learning according to recent university studies.
NOURISH*: Learn and choose to eat better each day. You probably already know a lot of what you need to know, but with the changes in our food supply, real nutrition is harder to find. Do for yourself whats right, not just whats easy. Start with small victories and keep making better decisions. Form the right eating habits. Your energy, health and quality of life depend on it.
EXERCISE: Rust never sleeps. Stay ahead of it. Don't like to exercise? Do it anyway. The alternative to moving is not very attractive.
5. Learn to relax. There are lots of different ways, from meditation, yoga, self hypnosis, its all good. And its even better when done with consistency. To be able to switch gears, slow down and gain perspective is what highly effective people do. The use of visualization especially in a relaxed mental state has been used by athletes, students, those in pain and business people to facilitate change many times faster than would ordinarily be experienced. You don't need to reinvent the wheel. Use what has already proven itself to work. Copy success.
The life that you have is a life worth paying attention to and enjoying. Each day as you create your memories, these suggestions above can be the tipping points that matter.
The economy will not determine how good the year of 2010 will be. You will. You can go kicking and screaming or you can go with ease, style and grace. It really is about choice. Choose well.
The life that you have is a life worth paying attention to and enjoying. Each day as you create your memories, these suggestions above can be the tipping points that matter.About the Author:
Inspirational, seasoned, intelligent corporate speaker. Effective business and personal coach for top real estate producers and managers looking to step up.
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