I feel guilty asking for help - I don't feel like much of a man anymore

Perhaps it was a sense of dedication to his job as police chief of Rockledge

, Florida and to the people he was hired to serve. Somewhere along the line, however, things became blurred and priorities mixed.

Work became an obsession while his own personal interests, including those of his family and his health, were left to watch as John continued his pursuit of excellence in his field.

But now, at the age of 54, John Shockey feels that everything he tried to do for his family has been washed away. It was not something that happened quickly - the erosion took years. He knew he had health issues but did not want to reveal them to his wife or family.

He had known that the house he bought was somewhat more than they could afford, but the thought of finally having their "dream home" took priority. Their eighteen year-old son, Dylan, had a continuing problem with alcohol and drugs and John was not sure how to respond since his son's behavior was inconsistent with his own role as the head of the police department.

Because of his health and the inherent stress of his job, Shockey left the department before his retirement date responding to a job offer in the private sector. However, only two weeks after leaving the department, he was in the hospital, fighting for his life. "I was near death," John said.

Doctors discovered that he had a heart attack in October of 2009, and was diagnosed with congestive heart failure, kidney failure and liver failure. "I had and still have a 100% blocked LAD, known as the widow maker," he explained. "I eventually had a pacemaker/defibrillator and I am at risk of sudden death." The medical team is discussing a heart pump, and perhaps a heart transplant sometime in the near future. Shockey was also diagnosed as a diabetic and that he now suffers from sleep apnea. John was unable to work.

John's wife, Denise, is a realtor in the Rockledge area. She enjoyed the work and saw the opportunity as a means to bring in additional income. It was not enough, however, to support the family and conditions got even worse when she had to care for John full time.

As if the family was not having enough struggles, their son, Dylan, was in a serious car accident on March 13 of this year. John and Denise received the call and when they arrived at the hospital, Dylan was on life support and not expected to survive. Through prayer and proper medical care, Dylan is now home but sustained permanent brain damage and requires constant assistance with frequent hospital and doctor visits.

With mounting medical bills and no source for income, the Shockey family lost their home and their car within the last few weeks. At this point in time, he is unable to collect any form of compensation from the city. "I nearly gave my life for on several occasions," Shockey said. "I am with nothing but pain, terminal heart disease, and no money,"

Denise explained that "John is finally getting SSI which helps, but with our medical expenses including multiple prescriptions and weekly doctor appointments (with co-pays) it is still very, very hard."

The Shockeys are living temporarily in Cocoa, but are not sure how long they can stay at this rented property. "The unit is for sale and we got a discounted rent because we agreed to cooperate with showings. It could be sold at any time. We are struggling just to meet the rent payments," Denise said.

The family is feeling there are in a spot that they may not be able to get out of. They need help and it is my hope that the people of Rockledge, who Shockey served for 32 years, can come to his aid the way he came to their aid thousands of time throughout his law enforcement career.

Perhaps other law enforcement groups anywhere in the country can just chip in a little, because "much little can make for a lot" and I assure all of you, John Shockey would come to your aid again if he was able to. Other groups who are thankful for all that law enforcement does for them can also help out.

There are several ways to help this family. Please contact this author for further information.

I feel guilty asking for help - I don't feel like much of a man anymore

By: Bruce G. Larson

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