How to Talk to Any Guy or Girl
The BIGGEST key to succeeding in your dating life is to talk to everyone
. The more people you talk to the greater potential you have of finding someone you click with. We aren't going to mesh with every person we meet so meeting a variety of people is important.
I know it may feel scary to approach a stranger, but nothing is physically holding you back from doing it and you may miss out on some amazing opportunities. The girl reading in the coffee shop could be your next girlfriend. The guy shopping right next to you could be the love of your life. You'll never know until you try so take the shot! Trust me from personal experience; it's not as hard as you think it is.
It helps to find a person that you're interested in getting to know. Since people are everywhere, there are an unlimited number of places to meet someone. Here are some places where students of mine and I have had successful meetings:
Supermarkets
Coffee shops
Book stores
Clothing stores
Malls Gyms
Public parks
Public transportation (buses, trains, taxis)
Social events and hobbies (concerts, dances, classes, parties)
Bars and clubs
Online (dating sites, meetup.comgroups, craigslist)
At school (college is an amazing place to meet people!)
I don't believe in not having the time or opportunities to meet new people. Unless you are inside 24/7 there's always a spare moment to talk to someone. I used to tell myself "not right now, it's not a good time" constantly. It took me a while before I finally realized that there is no right time and that the perfect time is right now
So, say you see someone that catches your eye. What do you say? To make it easy, I've categorized the 3 main ways to initiate a conversation:
Direct Stating your intentions upfront (highest risk, highest reward)
Indirect Asking a question or opinion (medium risk, medium reward)
Situational Commenting on something in the moment (lowest risk, lowest reward)
Riskis the chance that an interaction will fail or fizzle out. When being direct with someone you're stating in some way that you may be interested in them as more than a friend. By putting this on the table the other person has to choose if they accept your intentions and whether they're willing to see where things lead. If they're uncomfortable with that things will almost always end right there and you will part ways.
Rewardis the chance that if an interaction continues it will progress into something more. This could include deeper conversation, exchanging phone numbers, going on a date, and even intimacy. When you make your intentions clear and the other person accepts them, the potential for more subsequently increases. If you are more subtle with your intentions it may take longer or more effort to make something happen from the interaction.
Examples for each of the 3 types of conversations starters are:
Direct:
"I know this is going to seem completely random, but I thought you were cute and wanted to introduce myself. I'm X"
"I have to tell you something. I love the color and fit of that dress on you. " (other person responds) "By the way, I'm X"
"Hey you looked interesting and I wanted to come say hi"
Indirect:
"Do you know where the nearest Dunkin Donuts is?"
"Can I ask you something? Do you think these shoes are cute?"
"I have to ask, what are you taking photos of?"
"I need some advice on getting my 5-year old nephew a birthday present. Any suggestions?"
Situational:
"That is the most adorable little puppy I have ever seen!"
"5 bucks says he won't make the train doors before they close."
"You can't just look at me like that and not say anything!" (playful)
"Hi" (one of my favorites a simple hello to start the conversation)
All 3 ways to start conversation are fine and no single one is the end all be all. They all have their own advantages and disadvantages. Some may work better depending on your personality or the personality of the person you are speaking with. My best advice is to try initiating interactions using all 3 types many different times. You will begin to see which works for you, which you have more fun with, and which is giving you the best results overall.
Keep in mind that as you become more social and experienced you may find what wasn't working for you previously is now your best way to meet new people. When I began working on my dating life it was easiest for me to ask indirect questions rather than being upfront. As time went on I found it more successful for me to be honest with my intentions or make witty situational comments. I would have never discovered this if I didn't experiment with how I speak with others.
The point of the above examples is to help you understand the concepts and differences of these 3 types of conversation starters. I would much rather you create your own words to engage people with than to use mine verbatim. Your opening sentence is just a gateway to conversation and the specific content matters very little. It's all about how you say it; but the how is for a different article.
Now that you have a basic understanding of how to strike up a conversation, go out and meet others right NOW. It doesn't matter if you fail or succeed, just that you try them out. Talk to a minimum of 3 new people, trying out each of the 3 types at least once. I'd love to hear how it goes!
How to Talk to Any Guy or Girl
By: Niko
Things Not to do When Picking Up Girls in Bars and Nightclubs Have You Just Uncovered The Fact Your Daughter Bullies Other Girls? Talking Globe, Reasons why Girls and boys Ought to Discover more about Geography? Filipina Girls in Qatar – How to Have Fun Together in Qatar? Purses: How Crucial For Girls To Be A Elegant Girl Pattaya and bargirl private investigations How to Get a Girl to Like You TVS Scooty for Girls Male Stamina Vitamins How To Make A Girl Orgasm - Here Are The Most Explosive Orgasm Secrets No One Will Share With You Girl Scout Patches for sale Watch Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 4 Conceiving A Girl, Do It Naturally