How To Handle Breakups That Need "Time And Space"
How To Handle Breakups That Need "Time And Space"
One of the most challenging things anyone needs to learn ishow to handle breakups that need "time and space". It can extremely puzzling for the partner who's being "left behind" because it's just not possible to understand another person's issues, unless they open up and share them with you.
So, to help you move through this painful period of your life, here are 3 quick and easy tips to help you refocus your energy, and get on with your life, even while this drastic change is happening...
Tip #1: Stop Trying To Figure The Other Person Out. Work On Figuring Yourself Out Instead.
The biggest problem people have when their partner breaks up with them using the reason "I just need some time and space", is that they have this burning desire and need to know "Why".
The reason that "knowing why" is so important, is because you think that if you can just figure out what you did wrong, then maybe you can do something to fix it.
I'm sorry to say this, but it's just not possible to figure somebody out when they don't let you into their heart and mind.
And when someone says "I need time and space alone", what they are essentially saying is: "Get out of my life. I don't want you in it. I don't want you to try and understand me right now."
So, until your ex lover is willing to open up and talk, you need to stop trying to figure him or her out. It's just not possible. All you would be doing is guessing.
In fact, your ex lover is probably very confused right now, and won't be able to answer your questions. So just leave it be for now, and work on balancing your own emotions instead. For example, you can ask yourself:
Why do I feel so abandoned?
What is this loss really about? What am I really losing here?
What kind of partner do I really, truly need?
Do I feel that I deserve to be loved in a way that is right for me?
Refocus your energy and efforts to figure yourself out. You need to love yourself right now. Just be there for YOU.
Tip #2: Don't Wait. Just Start Moving On.
I think so often, we hang around and put our lives in a state of limbo, when we're waiting for the person we love to hurry up and "figure out" their life. This is unnecessary because life moves on no matter what.
If you even want a second chance at making a relationship with your ex lover to work out, you will need to bring a "new" you into it. And the only way it can happen is to stop waiting and just move on with your life.
Don't be afraid that your ex lover won't be able to catch up. If he or she truly wants to be with you, he or she will take the effort to match and accommodate your new "lifestyle".
At the end of the day, your only job is to live the best life you possibly can - with or without your ex lover.
Tip #3: Give Your Ex Time And Space But Still Keep In Touch If You Want.
You've probably heard the phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder". Even though this phrase is extremely popular, please understand that the only way two people can become close, is when there is some form of communication between the both of you.
The key to remember: is that you need to havemeaningful communication with each other.
One of the reasons your break up might have come as a shock to you, is that there was insufficient communication in your relationship, in the first place.
Please understand that I am not saying this break up is your fault. After all, it could be your partner who is uncomfortable about being honest with his or her feelings, not you.
The other situation could be that your ex lover did bring up the fact that he or she was unhappy, but you didn't think it was important enough to address it.
In any case, if you still want to be in a relationship with someone, then there needs to be some form contact. But only if you can handle it emotionally. Otherwise, things can easily back fire on you.
Hence, my further tip to you is: Keep your interactions short and sweet. No need to have a long conversation. You can just text or email your ex lover to say "How are you?", simple things like that. Be willing to listen.
Now that I've shared these 3 tips with you about"How to handle breakups that need time and space", I hope you feel better and find the energy to forgive yourself and realize you didn't do anything wrong.
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