HOW TO TELL IF A GIRL LIKES YOU - FIVE SIGNS SHE'S INTERESTED
HOW TO TELL IF A GIRL LIKES YOU - FIVE SIGNS SHE'S INTERESTED
How can you be sure a girl likes the look of you and might one day bear your children? Maybe even willingly.
Your eyes met across a crowded room at a party or in the exhaust pipe section of your local garage. You spotted her straightaway and couldn't help but stare at her for a few fleeting minutes with your tongue hanging out and a little bit of drool running down your chin. You're pretty sure she caught' your look and that she even maybe nudged her friend and pointed you out. Was that a hint of a smile creeping onto her face, or just wind? Is this girl the one'? If only you could have read her body language before the security guards ejected you from the building. Was that a playful wink she threw your way as she watched you being hauled down the road and tossed into a dumpster? Or just a twitch? Was that the excited swallowing of a girl overcome by the magic of love at first sight, or just wretching? Why, oh why are girls so difficult to read?
Here are 5 tell-tale signs that she is as interested in you as you are in her. If you spot any of the following, or something vaguely like them, the chances are she's secretly hoping you'll pluck up the courage to ask her out.
1. She tells someone
Is she interested? If she immediately approaches a security guard or a policeman after a few minutes of your special' look, chances are she's definitely interested. If she follows this up with a restraining order, this is an absolute giveaway that she simply doesn't trust herself to be alone in the company of someone as smoldering as you. Don't be put off, to her this is just part of the elaborate routine of flirting, or as she jokingly refers to it your harassment of her', whatever that means.
2. The look'
She gives you a look that betrays her calm exterior. Don't be perturbed if this resembles a cat trying to cough up a fir ball, the chances are she's just nervous. Giggling or even raucous laughter are also definite signs she's attracted to you and wants you to carry on staring at her, particularly her chest area. Don't be surprised if she points this out to one of her male friends and he punches your lights out and calls you a disgusting pervert, again this is her way of letting you know how much she admires you.
3. The conversation
Does she like you? When you eventually manage to slip back past the security guards and get close enough to whisper in her ear, "Hello my pretty, would you like to try on my night vision goggles?" and she screams, this is an absolute banker of a sign that she has never met anyone quite like you before. And don't forget, just because she asks her Italian uncle with the mafia connections to measure you up for a concrete waistcoat', doesn't mean she isn't attracted to you. She's just playing hard to get. If you sense her backing away from you and fumbling for something sharp or heavy on the table behind her as you're treating her to the uncensored version of your African elephant impression, this means she is embarrassed not to be able to compete with your cheeky, knockabout sense of humour and wants to give you a gift instead. Try and corner her long enough for her to build up the courage to ask you out. After all, this is the 21st century, you old-fashioned chump you. She may inadvertently use the word leave' instead of out', but again, this will just be her nerves playing up. And remember, never, ever, wear a ring on your finger, or for that matter, an electronic tagging device. Chances are, if you've managed to get that close to her, her eyesight isn't great and she might wrongly assume you're already married or somebody's bitch in B wing.
4. She appears unexpectedly
She likes you a lot if she shows up out of nowhere with a gun and takes a few playful pot shots at you from the safety of an armour-plated Hummer. She can only do that if she has been asking people about your schedule, or she has been paying attention to where you are going and at what time. Don't be alarmed if you spot a little red dot dancing around on your chest while you're sitting at the kitchen table this will be her way of saying she's sniping' for your affections and has got her sights firmly fixed on you. Probably best to jump for cover pretty sharpish though, these sort of women do have a tendency to get carried away when they start picturing what sort of flowers they would send to your funeral if they did accidentally' end up killing you for the good of all mankind Your Honour'.
5. EVERYONE likes you
Let's face it, if she's interested in you, then the chances are lots of other people are too. Like the police and the social services. You've got a sense of humour, a ready smile and an interesting range of camouflaged dungarees. Why wouldn't she find you attractive? So your life is crap, you live at home with your dead mother and your IQ wouldn't win a game of table tennis. These are just surface faults. Once she finds out about your interesting psychological illnesses and your arsonist tendencies, how could she fail to be interested. Remember, girls might like nice guys, but they fall in love with axe-wielding homicidal maniacs. And I should know, I've got 3 wives, here, in B wing.
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