Desperation Point The Ultimate Turn-off.

Sometimes, especially for older people, being single can lead to feelings of desperation

. We've all been there it's been months, maybe even longer, since we've had a date - so what really is the best approach?

We meet people we like, but theyre always attached. Or we meet someone that's unattached, but there's no chemistry. We start to feel like we're NEVER going to meet someone special. This is often the point where older singles start travelling in the cyber world of free dating sites and singles chat rooms it's a way to dramatically increase our chances of meeting someone. Someone we can be sure is single.

Although women are accused of being clingy more than men, both sexes are capable of it. Being insecure, over-possessive or overly needy is a major turn-off, whether it's the first date or a feature of an ongoing dating relationship desperation is a no-no in dating land.

And sometimes you can be accused of desperation when you were just minding your own business, thank you very much Says Claire, a member of Hookmeup Online, and a hair stylist from the Mid West: "Just because I'm in my forties and single, people always assume that I'm desperate and that my biological clock is ticking. And I especially hate it when they make that big assumption that I'm lonely. I truly hate that. I have more friends and hobbies than I have time. I'm not one for loneliness or feeling desperate, but because of my age, I'm perceived to be."

So the long-term single person has a fight on their hands not only the need to mask any genuine feelings of desperation, but the fact that they are seen as such, even if that's not the case.

Flirting is sexy, looking desperate isnt. Many of us already know this. Most of us have seen first hand at how expressing both longing and aloneness can make people we know very uninviting and even unlikable, and yet, when we ourselves are in a given situation we dismiss this lesson whenever a beautiful face turns our head and our hearts, we want to hurry right over to them and let them know how they have impressed us. Gather your thoughts and STOP! Take several deep breathes, chill and try not to spill. There is something very unattractive when a man salivates over a woman. Theres a time and place to let a significant other know how you really feel - but its not at the start of the mating dance when you have zero rapport established with your target other than for a few timid hellos in the hallway or at the lunch room.

A lot of feeling needy has to do with lack of confidence in ourselves and a lack of acceptance of where we are in our romantic lives right now. Take a gentle look at yourself and those feelings of desperation and then throw those feelings out the window. They have no place in the life youre trying to build for yourself.

by: Matt Fuller

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