Dating and Relationship Tips For Women-You Must Stop Man Bashing
Dating and Relationship Tips For Women-You Must Stop Man Bashing
You know what I am talking about. We man-bash when we get together with our female friends and talk about what jerks all men are, why men don't have a clue, why men can't seem to clean up after themselves, and why men can't get it.
Anytime you generalize about men as a whole, you create a stereotype that affects all your interactions with men. If you believe that men can't be trusted, you'll act suspiciously towards men, causing them to respond to you in such a way that feeds your belief. If you believe that men are only after sex, you may end up acting defensive, which will wound genuine men while exciting players who thrill at the chase.
Your beliefs about men affect not only your behavior towards them, but also their behavior towards you. If you are negative, suspicious, and critical of men-no matter what your reason-you will have a hard time finding love. If you've been hurt in the past and have allowed that to affect how you treat men now, you will have a hard time finding love. Men don't wan't to be associated with a source of pain and hurt. They don't want to feel llike they have to defend all men against the actions of a few. Remember that it is your ex who let you down, not men in general.
On the whole, men deserve the benefit of the doubt. Why not, instead of believing that all men are jerks until proven otherwise, believe that all men are good and decent until proven otherwise? The first benefit of this belief is that your life will be much happier. It takes a lot of effort to always be suspicious of every stranger that enters our life. We should have enough confidence in our own powers to judge another's character that we'll be able to sense immediately when someone is not worth the trust we have put in them and revoke it. The second benefit of this belief is that men will feel highly attracted to you. A woman who willingly and generously gives her trust to men draws others to her with her openness and warmth. Men can sense when a woman enjoys the company of men. A woman's pleasure in a man's company is beautifully evident-not just to him, but also to other men who might be watching.
Intimacy must be built on a foundation of trust, but too many woman believe that it is the man's responsibility to prove his trustworthiness. Think about how you would feel if every man you met was suspicious of your motives until you proved that you weren't after his money or a wedding ring. You'd feel like no one trusted you right? Do you think it's fair that we make men feel this way? If at all possible, avoid speaking in a negative or critical way about your ex. Merely repeating the old story will bring your heart rate up, make you feel tense, and allow negative feelings to intrude into what should be a positive moment. Also, some men will wonder if, by starting a relationship with you, they'll be in the same position as your ex someday: as the object of your anger or disgust.
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