Another Woman Is Sending My Man Inappropriate Emails and Photos
Another Woman Is Sending My Man Inappropriate Emails and Photos
I get a lot of emails from wives or girlfriends who find dirty, naked, or suggestive emails from either a strange woman -or worse, from someone that they know who is sending these emailsto their husbands or boyfriends. Often after the shock and disgust wears off, the wife isn't surehow to react or respond.
She considers emailing back the other woman, butdecides to hold off, thinking that perhapsmore emails will come from which she cangather more information. She considers confronting her man, but often when this happens, he'll claim he never asked for the emails and is just as shocked as the wife or girlfriend. Or, he'll claim it's just some random email or spam that was sent in one mass mailing. All of these things could be true.Or, it might be true that he's a verywilling recipient of these emails because he's having a relationship with this woman.But you often won't find out about this until you dig a little deeper.
Is It Wrong To Monitor His Email If You Think He's Cheating?:This is really a personal decision.But, If you're seeing nasty pictures or emails on your own computer, then you may have a reason to follow up. Statistically speaking, very few men ever admit to an affair until they are caught (and some still will not admit it even then.) So, the chances of getting an admission are sometimes slim. Do you think that if the roles were reversed he would just turn a blind eye? If he cares it all, that's not likely either.
What You're Looking For: Typically once you monitor the technology for several days, there areseveral possibilities that you will find here. Either you'll find nothing (in which case it reallycould be a fluke or he could be innocent), or youmayfind emails from several women. (Some men have beensurfing questionable sites with adult content but isn't focused on just one person).Sometimes, you'll find repetitive emails from just one person (which more likely indicates an affair or cheating.)
It's up to you how you want to handle it if he's visiting adult content sites. Many people will ask my opinion about cyber cheating or whether interacting with others on line is the same as an affair. There are varying shades of gray here. But, I believe if yourman is doing these things in secret and is getting whatever needs he has met elsewhere this is a serious problem. If he didn't know this was wrong or didn't suspect you would have a problem with it, he wouldn't be keeping it from you.
More obvious and worrisomeis the emails from the same person. What do you do now? Well, the first step, I believe, is to get more information before you go to him with this. Don't give him the heads up that he needs to hide better or to make you believe that you're crazy. Don't approach him until you really know what you are dealing with.
Getting More Information As To Whether He's Cheating (And With Who): The first step is sit down and see if you can determine if you know this other person or people or if you can figure out how he hooked up with him. There are reverse cell phone look ups that will tell you exactly who the number belongs to.What you do with this is up to you but I always advise caution about confrontations.
I do realize that some folks want nothing less than a face to face confrontation, but always try to be rational about this. Don't put yourself and others in a dangerous or compromised situation. It's just not worth it. If you want him to know how furious you are and that he isn't fooling you any longer, that's OK, but try to make sure that you are calm and in control when you deliver this message. After all, you don't want to come off as unstable or undesirable so that he can just justify his behavior. You want to come off as classy and desirable so that he's in fact very sorry for his actions.
I was in this same situation a short time ago. My heart knew that he was cheating, but my head didn't want to acknowledge it. After thinking on it for a long time, I decided that I really wanted to know the truth, no matter what that truth was. I learned how to get concrete information and proof that my husband thought that he had erased (including ALL his emails even those he thought he'd hid.) Once I presented this to him, he had no choice but to come clean. You can read my very personal story at http://catch-the-cheating.com/
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