A Father's Guide to Pregnancy: What to Expect When She's Expecting

A Father's Guide to Pregnancy: What to Expect When She's Expecting

Preparing Your Home for the New Arrival

When people talk about the changes that happen in pregnancy, they tend to say a lot about changes in the mother's body and her moods. Less tends to be said about changes in your home.

Assuming that you have been living together for a while, you've settled into a domestic routine. Expect that things she used to do are no longer easy for her. And even if she's willing, she won't be able to do as much. You'll need to step up to the plate and do more things around the house than ever before.

Now that you're soon to be a family, your home also will contain a lot more stuff. In come the crib, changing table, nursing rocker, bassinet, swing, stroller and car seat, plus all the baby toys and gadgets that you never knew existed, but which you now must have.

If you plan to set up a nursery, get ready to decorate. Crib sheets and bumper patterns will become important topics you must be prepared to discuss at great length. Pregnant women are cautioned to avoid paint fumes, so of course all the painting they want done falls to you.

You may not be able to match the mom-to-be's level of enthusiasm, but your participation counts. Just smile and repaint the room.Things will be different in the bedroom, too.The bed you share may seem less cozy as she becomes more uncomfortable and sleeps fitfully, making frequent trips to the bathroom in the night. You may even lose your bedmate for a while, because some pregnant women prefer to sleep in a reclining chair.

If you smoke, smoking inside your home has to stop. Secondhand smoke is bad for the baby.

Trips to the Doctor's Office

A generation ago, it might be considered unusual for an expectant father to be present during labor, let alone accompany his pregnant wife in the exam room when she saw her doctor.Now dads are encouraged to go to prenatal care appointments.

Assuming that all goes well, there will be about 15 routine prenatal visits scheduled with varying frequency: once a month until 28 weeks, three or four times up to week 36, and once a week for the last month.

If you can make time to join your partner at the OB/GYN clinic for all or most appointments, she will likely appreciate it, and you'll benefit from knowing what's going on. Two visits in particular are especially worthwhile: the first appointment, and the prenatal ultrasound exam.

During the exam, the OB/GYN doctor should give both of you some general advice on having a healthy pregnancy and address any specific medical issues. Pay close attention and ask thoughtful questions. The exam typically involves simple things, like taking the mother's blood sample, blood pressure and weight.

During the 20th week of pregnancy, an ultrasound exam is normally done. This is when many parents get a first glimpse of the baby and take home a sonogram snapshot for the baby's album. Sometimes ultrasound is used earlier in pregnancy to screen for birth defects or if a doctor suspects a problem. Ultrasound at 20 weeks can also reveal the baby's sex. You may choose to find out or wait to be surprised.

The Big Event

At some point, the mom-to-be will draw up her birth plan. That's a detailed description of how she wants to do labor and delivery, including where to go, who'll attend the delivery, how she intends to labor, who she wants in the room and what your role will be.

Taking a birthing class together can help you figure out the best practical ways to support her throughout labor.There are many different ways for labor and delivery to play out, so it's difficult to describe a typical experience for a father-to-be in much detail.

It's fair to assume that you'll deliver in a hospital, which is where 99 percent of all births in the United States occur. That means there will be doctors and nurses around, with medical support available as needed.

If you plan on going to a certain hospital, visit the maternity unit in advance. Anticipate spending several hours there sometimes, up to 48 waiting for the delivery.There's no way you can predict it for certain, but, on average, for a woman having her first baby, labor lasts between 12 and 24 hours from her first contractions to delivery.When it's time, proceed calmly to the hospital.

As labor progresses, it gets increasingly painful for the mother. Be attentive and supportive and try to stay with her until delivery.Even so, try to exhilarate in the experience.The birth of a child is a big event that will change your life. Congratulations!

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