5 Ways to Keep Passion Alive When Your Wife is "All Touched Out" and Doesn't Want Sex

By Otto Collins

By Otto Collins

Intellectually, James can understand it when his wife, Sharon, says that she's just not in the mood for sex. After all, she's home with their 4 children-- all who are under the age of 7-- all day long.

James knows that Sharon spends her day picking up toys, wiping noses, making food, changing diapers and carrying at least one child in her arms the bulk of her day. Even though James appreciates all that Sharon does to care for their children and their home...he still feels rejected and out of sorts when she turns down his invitation of sex.

Sharon assures James that, one day, their children will be grown and she won't be so exhausted and uninterested in making love with him as often as he'd like.

For right now, however, Sharon tells him that most of time she feels "all touched out." She loves him deeply, but the last thing she wants is for him to touch her sexually.

You might not have young children, but, if your woman is not as interested in sex as you are, it can be just as frustrating. Like James, you might intellectually understand the reasons your partner is giving you for why she just isn't the mood as often as you are... but it doesn't always help.

Here are 5 ways that you can keep passion alive, even when your woman doesn't want sex...

#1: Ask her what she WOULD be willing to do with you and then do that.

If your woman doesn't want to have sex right now, ask her how you two could connect-- either at this time or in the near future in other ways.

She might love a bubble bath and relaxing music that you prepare for her. She may crave your touch-- to rub her tight shoulders or back.

Really listen to what she is willing to do and then, if you feel moved to, do it. You can view any interaction with your woman as a chance to move closer together and be intimate with one another, even if it isn't sex.

#2: Keep complimenting her and letting her know how much you adore her.

Just because she isn't in the mood for sex, this doesn't mean she wouldn't love to hear how special she is to you. In fact, she might be feeling regretful that she is turning down your offer for sex.

Communicate to her that you adore her, that you'd like to have sex when she's ready and that you still adore her even if she tells you, "I'm not in the mood right now."

#3: Continue to tell her how attractive and hot she is.

Don't give your woman the impression that you are only complimenting her, in order to get her into bed to have sex. Women can tell when you are being manipulative and it is a HUGE turn-off.

Without being overbearing, let your woman know how hot she is. Notice it when she wears her hair in a different style that you find attractive, for example. When you do this genuinely and without ulterior motives, she might actually be in the mood more often.

#4: Support her by lightening her load around the house and with the kids.

You probably work hard all day and, when you come home in the evening, you want to relax and chill out. Whether your woman has a paid job outside the home or if she cares for your children all day, she is probably feeling the same way!

There's no doubt that your partner might also like to have some regular time in her day to relax and chill out.

You can both have that rejuvenating time and still get things done. Be willing to support your mate by offering to take responsibility for specific aspects of child or home care.

Don't leave everything on her shoulders and then expect her to be ready for a night of passion when you two go to bed.

Share the load and you'll probably find that you are both more open to sharing love and having sex.

#5: Be honest with her without being pushy, critical or blaming.

When you invite your woman to have sex with you and she says that she is not in the mood, don't take it personally. You can be honest and say that you are disappointed without inducing guilt or being critical.

If it seems to you that your woman is regularly saying no to sex, you might get curious and ask her why. Again, do this without blaming either her or you. Find out what's true for her and then talk together about changes you both could make that will bring improvements.

5 Ways to Keep Passion Alive When Your Wife is "All Touched Out" and Doesn't Want Sex

By: Susie and Otto Collins

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