5 Gifts For Her Guaranteed To Get You Dumped On Valentines Day
The thing that you have to remember about Valentines Day is this
, for the ladies its the one day of the year that they are pretty much guaranteed romance. Screw it up and it could cost you your relationship. The problem is, the fairytales turned out to be a load of old tosh, Prince Charming has a beer belly and despite what Hollywood would have you believe, men simply dont buy flowers just because. They just dont think that way. Heck, men dont even have the foresight to buy more milk.
The end result is that Valentines Day is suddenly a big deal. Flowers, presents and romance are all on the menu and woe betide any man that stands in the way. With this in mind, here are the top 5 Valentines Day gifts for her to avoid if you dont want to get chucked off the relationship train:
1. Gym Membership
Even if, and this is a big if, you have a stick thin wife or girlfriend who doesnt need to tone up or lose weight and its a luxury gym, buying a gym membership as a Valentines Day gift for her is a terrible idea and relationship suicide. You might as well send a card saying I love you thunder thighs and write fatty all over her Jane Austen novels. Just ask yourself, what would My Darcy do?
2. Cook Book
Cooking recipes, great. Doing even more household chores on top of all the washing, cleaning and ironing is just what women are looking fornot at all actually. As a general rule, most women feel like they already spend enough time in the kitchen, suggesting she hangs out there even more cooking up an extravagant recipe for you is unlikely to get the loving response or the feast youre after. In fact, you might just get poisoned.
3. Home Appliances
A huge clich this one but it happens. Somewhere out there men in search of the perfect Valentines Day gift for her end up in the home department at one of the big stores. Maybe they were heading for the lingerie section but chickened out at the last moment, who knows. Either way, cooking pots, Dysons and irons have been signalling death to relationships for years. Of course if thats your secret intention, chuck in a duster.
4. Gadgetry
Feminism and equal rights may be alive and kicking but at no point in the manifesto does it say that women, like men, are in to gadgets. In fact, unless youre handing over something iPod-related as a Valentines Day gift for her theres a good chance she wont even know what it is, or frankly care. Plus, if youre willing to spend that much money on something that shiny, for heaven sake make it jewellery.
5. Nothing
Whoever still falls into the no really I dont want anything trap deserves to be given a one way ticket to singledom. Its up there with all the great lies that women tell at the beginning of a relationship, like oh no I dont wear much makeup and yes, Ill always want this much sex. Get with the programme and buy something anyway. If she really did say no to Valentines day gifts youll score extra points. Just dont forget the card its right back to square one if you forget the card.
by: Patricia Wong
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