3 Things Your Woman Does NOT Want from You This Holiday Season
3 Things Your Woman Does NOT Want from You This Holiday Season
By Otto Collins
It's the holiday season and you might be searching around for the perfect gift for your partner this year. What you probably want is something that will make her smile and let her know how much you care about her.
Whether it's through gift giving or coming together with your woman along with others in song, prayer or community, there is a potential for sharing and expanding your love during the holidays.
There is also a potential for heightened conflict and tension.
Let's face it. The holidays can be a busy time. In addition to your usual responsibilities and activities, you probably have a whole host of other things added to your schedule. These might be fun and honored traditions that you treasure...but they can still be stressful.
There are also a whole lot of expectations that we each have that can bring about clashes, misunderstandings and hurt feelings. This might revolve around the gifts and it may come up regarding other issues or events.
Unfortunately, what can happen is you believe that you're doing your best to make your partner's holidays merry and bright but the complete opposite is what she's actually feeling.
As you scour the malls or do your online shopping for a present that will make your woman beam, keep in mind that there are undoubtedly things that she does NOT want from you this holiday season.
Here are 3 examples of what she does NOT want (and what you could give her instead)...
#1: You being distracted.
Life can get busy at any time of the year, but especially around the holidays. It's easy to get caught up in the work parties, plays and programs as well as shopping you might have going on.
When you are with your woman, set aside your lists and projects and give her your attention. Even if you are short on time or energy, engage with her and really BE with her. Listen to what she's talking about and share what you are thinking and feeling with her.
It's also easy to become overwhelmed by it all and to simply zone out on your computer, the television or in other ways. This is another way many of us get distracted.
Take care of yourself and give yourself permission to relax and recharge your batteries. Allow yourself to make choices about what you will do and what you won't do this. If it feels like too much, be willing to take a pass.
This will help you be more available to your woman and able to enjoy the holidays more fully.
#2: Your "have to" gifts or grudging participation.
There's nothing worse than being given a gift and getting the distinct impression that your partner's heart is just not in it. Don't do that to your woman!
If you feel like you have to spend a whole lot of money that you don't have on your partner this holiday season for whatever reason, think again. You can buy an extravagant gift for her and, if you're doing it only because you think you have to, she's going to know.
Your money will be wasted because it's not going to be what she really wants deep down inside.
What your partner really wants from you when it comes to gifts and gestures is for you to have given some attention and care to picking out something just for her. Even if she's hinted that she really wants ______, make sure that you are buying it and giving it to her from a place of love and not just because you feel like you have to.
The same goes with any activities you participate in with her this year. Whether it's picking out a tree, attending a religious service or going to a party together, a time-honored tradition can be quickly soured if you are dragging your heels the whole way through.
Be honest with yourself and with your woman. If you're feeling stressed out or resentful about "having" to do the activity, ask her how she would feel if you stayed home this year.
You might let her know how you're feeling so that she doesn't take it personally and you could reassure her that you do plan to participate in other specific holiday activities, and then follow through.
#3: The aftermath of too much "holiday cheer" (aka your overindulgences).
Just about everyone overindulges in some way around the holidays. With an abundance of treats and parties, it's difficult not to!
Be aware of your own habits. If you tend to overindulge by, for example, drinking too much too often, this is going to become a drain on your partner very fast.
There's nothing LESS fun than trying to connect with someone who is drunk, doped up or ill from overeating.
Pay attention to why you are getting drunk at just about every holiday party you are attending or what is causing you to reach for the drugs (prescription or other) or to consume huge amounts of food. The holidays can be emotionally triggering for many of us and that is one reason why a lot of people overindulge.
Get clearer about why you are overindulging and find strategies that will help you practice more moderation.
All of this will help you be more available to your woman. Perhaps the most important gift you could give your partner this holiday season is your loving and engaged presence along with genuine, heart-felt actions.
http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/3-things-your-woman-does-not-want-from-you-this-holiday-season-3891482.html
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