subject: Guard Against Inducing Phobias In Children by:Sudha Gupta [print this page] It is natural for children to jump, and run and shout, touch and explore everything in sight, have noisy fights and constantly test the boundaries to behaviour that we as parents have set for them. And even though this is natural, it can really test a parent's patience and actually drives a lot of them to use fear as a tool to make the child do as they want.
Specific childhood fears can become lifelong phobias. "Sleep quietly , or I'll call the police.""Eat your food or the mau billy will eat you." "Watch so much T.V. and your brain will start melting." "If you make so much noise , I'll shut you in the cupboard with the ghost." - there are infinite variations of this theme used by parents and guardians. Specific fear of some animals, men in uniform, using gadgets, enclosed places can remain as life-long phobias in the mind of the child.
Fear results in emotional complexes. Shutting children in closets or bathrooms, holding them out from the balcony or the car window, threatening to give them away or even worse, scaring them with the prospect of leaving them and going away can do immeasurable harm. A deep sense of insecurity and lack of self-confidence burrows deep in the child's mind and heart, leading to mental and emotional problems.
Fear creates distance and distrust. Less obvious but even more damaging are fears created about known people. "Behave your self or I'll tell Papa." "Don't touch that or I'll ask grandma to get her magic stick."- these are some very common examples of how fear, distance and mistrust are created in close relationships, leading to a lack of intimacy and sharing in even the closest of relationships.
Accept a child's natural behaviour. We are less likely to feel anger and frighten the child if we accept the fact that it is a child's nature to be curious, explore, make noise, jump and run about , be excited and seek attention. Instead of putting the rein of fear on the child, it's better to gently guide and induce him to remain within acceptable standards of behaviour.
Use logic, love and guidance. Discipline is necessary for children. But using fear as a tool is simply not acceptable. Give them logical reasons, guide and direct them with gentleness and love and most of all instil self-discipline, whereby they know the effects of their actions and make their own choice to do something or not.
As an educationist, she has single-handedly revolutionized pre-school education. Her thoughts have inspired parents and teachers to look at early childhood education from a new perspective. Her emphasis on overall development of child and not just academics has opened new window for tiny tots to blossom into extraordinary beings. Now this visionary has set her eyes to transform formal education system through Presidium, a proposed senior secondary school.
As an expert on parenting, she has given parenting its due importance and popularity. She conducts seminars and orientations regularly to guide parents about positive parenting. Her mission to transform parenting does not limit to a few thousand parents whose children pass out of various branches of Mother's Pride but millions of parents across the country through her publications in leading newspapers and magazines. As a social activist, Sudha Gupta's concern for the society and country is evident not only in her writing, but takes practical shape in the form of a NGO called Sparsh.
Sparsh has so far reached out to millions of poor, needy, mentally and physically challenged children as well as generous contributions have been made as aid to families of Kargil martyrs and Tsunami victims.
In just a few years, Mrs. Gupta has achieved more than what would ordinarily take a lifetime.
Mother's Pride is headed by the renowned educationist and sought after parenting expert Mrs. Sudha Gupta. Her vision encompasses not only children but parents, teachers and the society on the whole.
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