subject: Letting Go of the Smaller Stuff & Looking at the Bigger Picture [print this page] Author: Holly Eburne
Iambrowsing through my stack of books when a small one catches my attention--"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson. On the inside cover, my husband, Dave adds... "And HOW!"It hasbeen 11 years since he wrote thosewords andit has taken me this long to figure out the meaning. Almost 3years ago, Dave, 59, was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia. Initially I didn't believe the doctors. I was confused. Howwas it possible that someone in their 50's has a disease reserved for those over 80? I knew our lives would change dramatically, but Ididn't expect itto bebetter than before. I had no idea how easy lifecan be when you learn to 'let go' and not sweat the small stuff. Itis a couple of months ago when Dave and Iare getting ready for a friend's wedding. Icarefully pick out Dave's clothes and he is looking particularly handsome waiting for me at the front door. As I am putting on my shoes, I happen to glanceover at Dave's feet. Oh my gawd! He is wearing the mostawful looking, black vinyl shoes (with elastic sides) that I have ever seen. Without censoring my inner voice, I blurt out..."you can't be serious about wearing those clodhopper shoes to the wedding?"Immediately,Dave says..."yes I am".Not stoppingfor a breath, Irun throughthe housefrantically searchingfor a more suitable pair of shoes. Phew! I find a pair of my son's shoes--not worrying they are 1 1/2 sizes smaller. Somehow Dave manages to squish his feet intothe tight fitting dress shoes.Hestandsthere looking like his feetare nailed to thefloor and if he tries to walk, his toes wouldn'tbend.Itis in that moment when Ifinally come to my senses.I realize how silly and petty Iam being. Why does it matter so much that Dave's shoes look funny? He loves them; theyare comfortable, and in his eyes theyarebeautiful. In fact, he tells me so. Just as weare leaving the house, Dave says that a few people have asked him where he bought his shoes.(In my head, I am thinking ...ohsure they did!)But before I could say anything, he continues..."and it isn't so they know which store to avoid!". Iburst out laughing. So does Dave...although I am not sure he understands whyit is so funny. What a breakthrough for me.We had a wonderful time at the wedding and I learned a great lesson, thanks to my husband with dementia, and his clodhopper shoes. A wise friend of mine told me..."If it doesn't matter in 3 weeks, 3 months or 3 years, then save yourself some grief, and just let it go!" About the Author: Holly is a Sport Physiotherapist (28 years),professional Health coach, business owner (Usana Health Sciences) and contributing author to the bestselling book, Overcomers Inc.-true stories of Hope, Courage & Inspiration.
For stories about how Holly is thriving as a caregiver for her husband with Frontotemporal dementia, visit her blog: http://hollyeburne.com/blog/
