subject: How Can I Get My Groom Involved In Planning Our Wedding? [print this page] So, you're going to get married. He proposed, you set a date, and now you're getting going on picking decorations, choosing caterers and looking at invitation formats. Everything's perfect! Except for the fact that he doesn't seem to be nearly as into planning your special day as you are. Naturally, you want your wedding to be special for him, too, and because you want it to be a dream wedding for him, you want his input. If you're looking to get your groom more involved in planning and setting up your wedding, here are some ideas.
First, accept that he might be looking at your wedding differently than you. To put it bluntly, he may not actually care about the particulars of your wedding. That might sound bad, but really it actually isn't. You may well have been planning and imagining your ideal wedding back when you were 6, but chances are pretty good he hasn't. Chances are good that he has no clue (and hence no opinion) about wedding colors, cakes or venues.
Just because he doesn't care whether you have an intimate indoor ceremony in Olympia or an outdoor extravaganza in Spokane, though, it doesn't mean that he doesn't care about your marriage. It's possible that in his mind he already has the perfect wedding simply because it involves you.
It's also possible that your man is reluctant to get involved in the planning because he recognizes that his wedding opinions are not as strong as yours, and he wants the wedding to be just the way you want it. If you talk candidly with your husband-to-be, you can find out why he isn't more engaged in the process.
If you still want to get him more involved, you will probably have the best luck if you delegate portions of the wedding that he will actually be interested in. Although your spouse-to-be may not care whether the colors include periwinkle or puce, he might be interested in selecting the entertainment. He could enjoy choosing which band or DJ you go with. Given that they say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, he might also be interested in picking out foods and flavors. But if you really want your fiance involved, make sure you actually respect his opinions as he gives them. Don't entice him into helping to plan and then simply go with your own opinions anyway. Treat him the way you would like to be treated.
by: Christian Heftel
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