subject: Weddings [print this page] It's a scene out of a movie, but it's happening to you. The love of your life ushers you off in a canoe for a picnic. The sun is shining; the water is the same blue of your love's eyes. You paddle for a while before coming to a deserted island where there just happens to be bubbly, delectable chocolates and more. Like your dreams, he bends down on one knee and looking up into your face asks if you will do him the honor of becoming his wife. You are so excited, all you can do is kiss and hug him. You feel you could conquer the world your love is so great.
As the afternoon fades, you row back to shore and start calling everyone you know to share the good news. They have questions - when, where, how? You don't have answers yet, but it's time to start planning. The wedding process can take a year to plan and execute.
Maybe the bride writes out a list, or she starts to research places and costs. Then the realization sets in of how much planning needs to be done, how many details need to be figured out. Every vendor, venue has more questions. The bride might feel overwhelmed. The husband tries to empathize, but for him he'd be just as happy getting married at city hall or eloping. And now the bride starts to feel down. Mothers and fathers and mother-in-laws and father-in-laws all want to have a say in how things are done. Some of the excitement of being engaged begins to fade.
Take a time out. There is a reason for all of this. You love him. You want to spend the rest of your life with your groom-to-be. Yes, work needs to be done, but it's important to find a way to enjoy the process. This is about the coming together of two people, not frustrations due to minor details. The focus of the wedding should be your love, your commitment to one another and the self-sacrifice and hard work that will need to be a part of your marriage in order to make it succeed.
It's easy to get wrapped up in the moment, and to lose sight of the end goal. It's easy to feel that love when you walk down the aisle and see your groom waiting for you. Many say life is about the journey, so it's important to keep sight of your love and keep your love for one another a priority throughout the wedding planning process.
Keep the spark alive. Do what you have to do to have some time together where there is no talk of a wedding, no talk of wedding favors, guest lists or color schemes. Have a weekend away, or take a few hours on a weekend to do something you both enjoy, but remember no talk about the wedding during this time.
Another way to keep your love fresh is to take one night each week and have dinner together, either at home or at a restaurant and just talk. Talk about your fears and your excitement. Use these moments to remember why you got engaged in the first place. If you share common interests like tennis, golf, rock climbing or mountain biking, be sure to take time to do those things together. If the groom is out having fun while the bride is home planning, she might begin to feel some resentment. It's okay to have fun together. The groom might spend one night a week dedicated to helping his love with the planning and making decisions, or even two hours once a week.
Remember, as a couple that is about to become man and wife, you are dedicating your lives to one another. Be sure to do the things together that brought you together in the first place. Appreciate each other and be kind to one another. The more support you offer one another, the more supported you will feel.
by: Elaine Henshaw
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