subject: Thinking Errors: Stop Your Kids From Making Excuses [print this page] Arguing with a child is definitely a losing battle for any parent. Most parents find themselves speechless whenever their son throws a smart come back. And no matter how much they try to argue and stress their point, their child is always successful at pushing their buttons.
Because arguing with kids is often a losing battle, most parents wonder how their kids are able to get themselves out of the situation and come out clean and innocent. One of the possible reasons behind this reality is that children have learned to make several "traps" for their parents to fall into. In order for you to avoid those traps, you have to know them in the face. So that when your child tries to use them on you, you can dodge from them and hold your child accountable.
It is a natural thing to see our kids blame others and point their fingers at other people when we hold them responsible for their behavior. Usually, kids think they are the victims despite the gravity of their mistakes. Seeing themselves as the victim makes them feel, in their mind, that they can get away with anything.
When your child formed the habit of blaming other people or other things when you try to correct his behavior, you need to challenge the way the thinks of himself. When you call his attention about a mistake and he acts out or tries to make a scene, you should find ways to discourage him from continuing such habit right away.
Children should not be tolerated when they blame other people or external factors for failing to perform. When your child tries to blame someone or something else for not completing a task, he is actually telling you that it is not his fault and he is the victim.
The classic, "My dog ate my homework" actually means in reality, "I am a victim of my dog, so I am not responsible for it and should not be punished for either."
Children who are tolerated to believe that they are the victim grow up ill-equipped for accomplishing certain milestones that are necessary for a successful early life development. When your son tells you it was his classmate's fault, tell him "Blaming Peter will not solve anything. You need to apologize to him after class or I will tell your father."
Discourage that blaming habit of your kids as early as possible. Realize that these thinking errors and always hold your kids accountable for their behavior. Understand these thinking errors so that you avoid the traps during arguments as well as the put a stop to the blaming, excuse-making, and victim-thinking of your kids.
by: Katherine Thompson.
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