subject: Scheduling A Complaint Time For Your Kids [print this page] Of course, all children have their tolerable annoying moments of whining and complaining. But when your child begins to whine about almost anything and tends to dwell on the dark side of things, then you need to do something about it. Although children usually have a lot of things to say about the world, looking at the negative side of things all the time poses a concern.
If your child regularly say, "THIS, is dinner? I don't like it!" or perhaps he usually complains in a way like, "Why do I have to do my homework? I don't like to do it!" then you should find a way to handle it as soon as possible.
Having a child who keeps complaining about every little thing in life can be extremely exhausting emotionally. You might even find yourself one day feeling so fed up that your ears seem to fall off from listening to your child whining about how unfair the world is all day long.
It is impossible for parents to simply shut their ears off and ignore their child's complaints. Why? One possible reason is that the parents themselves are major complainers and tend to look at things negatively as often as well. So when their kid starts his complaining monologue, the parent instantly sees himself in his kid.
A complaining child also tends to conjure negative images in their parent's mind as well, that is why it seems impossible for any parent to simply ignore the complaints of their child. When you hear your child whine on and on about school, about his friends, and about how tight his shirts are, your energy begins to rub off.
So what should you do in order to handle the never-ending complaints of your child? Start by explaining to your child the kind of behavior that you expect from him and make sure that the difference between being positive and being negative is clear to him. It helps if you sit down with your child and talk about what you do not like about each other and have a chance to tell it straight to each other in a calm and relaxed manner.
It would greatly help if you set up a time for you and your child to sit down and talk about his complaints. Say for example you set 15 minutes every day for "complaint time". Tell your child, "From 4:00 to 4:15 in the afternoon, you will get the chance to complain about anything and everything that you do not like. If your complaints are sensible enough, I will try and change some things."
If your child complains about something outside of your agreed time, simply dismiss him by saying, "We have time for your complaints, and it is not right now. We will talk about that later." Doing this gives you a pre-packaged response that you can tell your child in a formal, authoritative way.
by: Katherine Thompson
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