subject: Tips for Men Moving on From Divorce [print this page] Traditionally, men want to be known for their tough personality in times of crisis. They tend to hide behind a facade of stoicism and make people believe that they can always cope with any situations they are confronted with. Little do most people know that men are usually dying inside because of this emotional suppression. Sometimes this can get so bad as to let out their hurts and frustrations in alcohol, drugs, and anger. Men want to control their emotions especially in dealing with extreme stress like divorce but need to realize that they are also human, they get hurt and breakdown.
Let us enter the mind of a man in times of deep pain and have a look at how they can cope with this time of emotional turmoil.
Denial
This is the initial reaction of a man when confronted with divorce. He is in denial of the reality which is that the marriage is over. They still continue to make themselves believe that there is still a chance of reconciling the situation. They deal with this fantasy and this becomes their comfort zone but in this is the time they will do anything, even stupid things just to win their partner back when the relaity is it is over and they just have not realised it yet.
The longer you stay in this phase, the harder acceptance is to accept and the more volatile yuor emotional state will be. The hardest part is to make the first step to move on, but once you get started the rest will come easily as yor mind will go through a journey of grief ending in a final acceptance. If ever there is still a chance to make things work it is still necessary to make use of the space and settle issues within yourself in order to become a better person and worth it of being a partner.
Anger & Resentment
This is the second phase of the process where the realization that the marriage has totally slipped away from you. The mind works in defense by holding on to grudges and anger against the wife becuase with so much hurt you want them to get their equal share of pain as well.
This is a very destructive phase to deal with. You need to realize that any hurtful words and actions are never the answer to the problem. you will never become happy by being resentful and angry and it usually never does any hurt to your ex wife etiher! Anger is just a way to stop yourself from feeling the panic, fear and sadness f a final relaisation the marriage is gone.
Depression
After going through anger, feelings of deep sadness sink in. This is the part of the process when you want to grieve and be alone to think about things and reminisce on the times you were together. This kind of feeling can be dangerous once you delve with it longer than expected. It can allow you to cater thoughts like committing suicide.
There are two tips in order to deal with this stage. First is external. This is when you need to be around with people, join activities and be with friends. This is not only necessary in order to forget the feeling of sadness but as well build a social link that can enhance you as a person. Do not be comfortable being alone. Second is internal. This is your chance to understand the situation you are in and rationalize on the reasons why you are taking that place at this point. It will take some honesty and introspective way of dealing with your personal emotions.
In order to understand thoroughly and find more ideas on how to deal with the dilemma of divorce, click below and be informed on how to end this nightmare once and for all. Learn how to start living life to the fullest once again because this is not the end, just the beginning of a new and better chapter!
